Galen Hallcyon

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Galen is currently suffering from a serious dental infection that could potentially kill him. If you wish to help support him, please click here.
The Marshmallow Bitch
Galen looking dapper.
Galen looking dapper.
Personal Details

Part time youtuber


Too complicated to summarize with a label.

Birth place

Mdina, Malta


New Orleans, Louisiana


Really fucked up because of spinal, dental, and leg injuries.

Social Networking
Youtube channel





▲ Hallcyon ▲



Physical attributes
Eye colour


Hair colour

Dirty blonde-red

There's more to life than a label. Actions are more meaningful and important than attachment to ideological terms.
— Galen [1]
Galen "Egg-Beater" Hallcyon (also known as The Marshmallow Bitch) is the intellectually godlike strawman of internet neckbeards incarnate. Since he is a good friend of TJ, Galen has been a recurring guest on Drunken Peasants Podcast, most notably during early episodes. Galen was known as the kid in school whose uncle worked for Nintendo. Galen was once a fan of TJ, but then became his friend when they met in real life.


Galen is a sexy god with the balls of gold.
Galen puts an extreme emphasis on individuality, claiming that great minds do not think alike, and that a deep psychological revolution is necessary as philosophy is not a theory but an activity. [2] He is very vocal of his opinions, as shown on the podcast when he describes himself as a fallibilist. He also has a dislike for labels, as he has a hard time even grouping himself with atheists, but, despite this, he openly admits that TJ and Scotty have had a hand in forming how he thinks, which may or may not be a good thing, research still needs to be done on this.


TJ and Galen initially met in person after Galen and TJ met through youtube. They met at a diner in New Orleans that shitty service and substandard food, and soon then b acme fast friends. Despite never having had the chance to meet TJ's father, Galen once noted said there are a number of parallels between him and Thomas James Kirk. He also finds that he has a lot in common with Scotty. [3] These statements were actually said as a very clumsy apology for making Scotty lose his shit over stupid bickering. Galen rarely uploads videos, but the ones he has are pretty good.

On Drunken Peasants

He first appeared on the second episode of the DP where he unsurprisingly went on a nearly hour long Galen-sized tirade. He returned to revolutionize other episodes during the earlier days of the podcast. Half of the DP fanbase despise him and the other half find him interesting and intelligent. The hate can generally be attributed to his antagonism toward Leelah Alcorn on the podcast, his position on suicide, his "debate" with Egghead, or the fact that some think he is full of himself. Despite being a somewhat controversial figure during all of his appearances, TJ has said we've yet to see the last of Galen.[4]

Egghead Controversy

Egghead: ...The Egghead Sho-
Galen: Explain yourself, do it!
After over 200 episodes, Galen finally returned to the podcast to debate Egghead on the subject of his GoFundMe scam during episode 275. Galen utterly destroyed Egghead in the debate, so much so that Paul had to step to Egghead's defense. Galen earned the respect of the DP fanbase, even from those who didn't like him. The "debate" in name only was one of the most polarizing events in all of Drunken Peasants history, continuing the tradition of Galen episodes being of legend. He had a ton of research done of the subject and read from some notes while grilling Egghead. Some fans thought he was way too harsh, though others, notably the DP Subreddit, praised Galen as their lord and saviour for crushing the cringe. Later during his appearance on Pimpmunk's hangout, Galen further articulated his beef with Egghead and claimed he would be making an omelet in honor of the night.[5]

BeyondPhere was a huge supporter of Galen's research and extended her support in the live chat and on Twitter. Both prior to and following the debate, Phere got into a tweet war with Rybi Jenkins over the circumstances.

On Amazing Atheist

Galen has made several appearances on TJ's main channel as well as his documentary Amazing. His appearances on TJ's channel were almost completely in movie reviews (not associated with DistressedWatcher) The reviews were mostly for the Transformers movies. Galen also did a lot of the thorough research for TJ's video on Steve Shives.[6]


Galen is Proud To Be An American
What if Jesus told you to suck his dick?
— Galen trolling G Man
I'm always challenging everyone.
— Galen to TJ over Twitter.
It's just there in the air.
— Galen's quote of the Insane Clown Posse.
The Phelps family are very nice people.
— Galen on Westboro Baptist Church in episode 18.
He should fuck his daughter with a Mexican cock.
— Galen when asked about Donald Trump.
Go murder the toilet with your big ass.
— Galen instructing a shitfaced TJ to go the bathroom.
An actual philosopher has no friends.
— Galen on Twitter.
This is the kind of guy that sits around eating Baby Ruths, probably takes them out of his ass or something. He's just a fat pile of shit.
— Galen's response to the garbage pail dude in episode 69.
I adore Scotty, I find that I have a lot of likenesses to Scotty.
— Galen showing respect to Scotty after their debate.
I don't want to get close to you because I think you're a homosexual rapist.
— Galen talking to G Man.
I would like people to- if they have any problems- to go read "Of Mice and Men" because when someone's so stupid that they defraud people, fuck people over anything, y'know, fuck 'em. I'm with shooting Lennie in the fucking head because it's just this ridiculous so- y'know it's kinda like "Animal Farm" so certain people should be more equal than me and they should get a ??? pass while others can't.
— Good luck trying to decipher the meaning of this statement.


  • It was planned early in the show's history to have him debate Howard Bloom, as evidenced during episode 28.[7] This debate never came to fruition. Like father, like son.
  • Galen hates labels, therefore, he may be definitely is a hipster.
  • The reason he's not uploaded stuff recently is because of health issues and his moving situation.
  • He was born in Malta, whatever the fuck that is.
  • During episode 72, the chat requested he get into a debate with Gail Chord Schuler.
  • He has been shown to get really pissed off if somebody says he is a "pseudo-intellectual", so make sure to call him that.
  • He hates being called an atheist.
  • He finds that it is important to recognize how many different religions there are, and how widely ideas vary within them.
  • Scotty described him as "a very specific and nuanced person", and that most people likely couldn't meet his standards.[8]
  • Galen's dick is said to be bigger than the Soviet Union.
  • During the first podcast without TJ as a host, Galen was a full episode guest. Throughout the episode he antagonized G Man, who was clearly not amused.
  • He is or at least has been a supporter of GamerGate.
  • Galen has been an extra in several shows, including NCIS New Orleans. He can be seen in a couple of frames here.
  • His least favorite Game of Thrones character is Arya Stark (or Anya Stark, if you're a complete fucktard [9]).
  • Apparently, he "likes" Joshua Feuerstein's Facebook page. Probably because it's comedic gold. 
  • He has looks similar to "Odo", from Star Trek: Deep Space 9. It is possible they are the same person. 
  • He claims that Dusty Smith is a racist who thinks black people are genetically inferior. 
  • As much as he hates Dusty he thinks Jaclyn is even dumber. 
  • He once helped He-Man defeat Skeletor by talking for 3 hours unend.
  • He hates Thunderf00t with a fiery passion.
  • He predicted the plot of The Dark Knight after seeing Batman Begins or something.
  • He has actually appeared on The Egghead Show.

Images Gallery

Videos Gallery

Marshmallow Pwnage: EPIC
Blockbuster Movies: Is Stan Right or Wrong?
Fundraiser For Galen Hallcyon



  2. Profile description