WWE Wrestling

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The Drunken Peasants making their way to the ring.
The Drunken Peasants making their way to the ring.
Details
Conception of deities

John Cena

Founder

Vince McMahon

Chief executive officer

Vince McMahon

Date of Foundation

February 21, 1980

Headquarters

Stamford, Conneticut; USA

Let's talk about WRASTLIN'

— TJ Kirk
WWE, a wrestling network mostly involving muscly men in tight suits, is somehow one of the most controversial topics ever discussed on Drunken Peasants. Many people featured on the show, even including G Man[1] were once fans, but agree it has become too PG these days.

In practical terms, WWE is a soap opera made specifically for closeted homosexuals. The peasants somehow enjoy it even though they're all adult men and 3/4 of them claim not to fuck men. It involves big muscular men attacking one another with over-the-top special attacks almost like a live-action edition of Fireball Z, so it's not a surprise that it's entertaining.

On Drunken Peasants

Wrestling has been an occasional topic on Drunken Peasants, being that all four peasants are big fans of WWE. There are a very vocal group of fans that bitch for hours on end whenever the peasants dare to bring it up. Episode 208 was entirely dedicated to talking about WWE, as it featured the guest star Jim Cornette, who is a wrestling manager.

The Drunken Peasants held their own fictional wrestling league on their channel Rage Feed through the game WWE 2K15. The videos brought characters from all across the ԀP multiverse together to duke it out. A preview of this was shown during episode 170.

Wrestlers

  • John Cena - John Cenais a potential candidate for the greatest wrestler of all time and Ben's personal sex doll. Cena is not only the very best in his field, but also holds a special place in each of the peasants' hearts. John had a one night stand with Scotty during December of 2004, resulting in the birth of Scotty Cena nine months down the line.
  • The Aluminum Sheik - A wrestling character portrayed by TJ Kirk. His arch nemesis is The Math Magician, played by Ryan Wiley. He has been defeated several times by G Man and the Masters of Stupidity. His name is inspired by the Iranian WWE wrestler known as The Iron Sheik. The Aluminum Sheik masturbates to Mid 90's Kevin Nash in the middle of his promos.
  • Chlorophyll Man - Some idiotic egg-shaped fan's wrestling persona. The identity of the pigmented faggot is not known, although it is probably Ryan Wiley's butt buddy. He dared to challenge The Aluminum Sheik to a wrestling duel at Summer Slam. He must be retarded; as TJ has a well-known history of experience handling vegetation.
  • Hulk Hogan - Hulk Hogan is a real American, wrestler, and superhero who served during the Korean War. He is the ultimate cause of North Korea's surrender once he had defeated Kim Jong-Il in a rap battle. He was erased from WWE history and no longer exists. He also supports genocide. [2]
  • Iron Sheik's Message to the Kids
    The Iron Sheik - Iron Sheik is man with the ten inch cock that enjoys fucking your ass, breaking your back, and making you humble. He is the man with the ten inch cock that fucked your wife, he fucked your daughter, and he fucked your son. He's gonna fuck your ass, then you're gonna be humble.
  • Scotty Cena - A new and upcoming wrestler who made his debut on Drunken Peasants. He combines all the best things of Scotty and John Cena to make the perfect specimen. He was won Summer Slam for fifty consecutive years.
  • Kevin Nash - Mid 90's Kevin Nash is a faggot that brutally bludgeons theists. TJ has conflicting viewpoints of Mid 90's Kevin Nash as a result. TJ also masturbates furiously to Kevin Nash during his role as the Aluminum Sheik.
  • Jesse Venutra - A former wrestler who has since served as the Governor of Minnesota. Although he has some batshit conspiracies, he is an overall badass and one of the few politicians to be an open atheist.
  • Rey Mysterio - Ben's ancestor. Brett Keane has also described Ben as a Rey Mysterio looking motherfucker.
  • Dolph Ziggler - Dolph Ziggler brutally raped some lying cunt in a story that was covered on Drunken Peasants. He was a former wrestler until he got the shit kicked out of him by John Cena and Hulk Hogan.

Quotes

Another little fag, worse than Michael Jackson.

— The Iron Sheik talking about Scotty.

Mid-90's Kevin Nash!!!

— TJ jerks off to his favorite wrestlers.

Trivia

  • G Man is a fan of WWE, although he feels that it's lost it's way as of recent.
  • AlphaOmegaSin was revealed as a fan when he talked about wrestling during his appearances.
  • The peasants have poked fun at the absurdity of Hulk Hogan's scandal and later removal from the Hall of Fame.

Gallery

References

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAcaK7hCbxc
  2. http://drunken-peasants-podcast.wikia.com/wiki/Episode_134