Vadim Newquist

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Vadim Newquist
Vadim on your average evening.[1]
Vadim on your average evening.[1]
Personal Details
Profession
  • Satirist
  • Slave
  • Sex Machine
  • Sexy Mofo
Religion

None (atheist)

Age

38 apparently (born January 25th)

Birth place

North Carolina

Residence

New York

Status

Telling Roo to get his mouth away from his dick.

Social Networking
Youtube channel

DarthVadim

Facebook

Vadim Newquist

Twitter

Vadim Newquist

Google+

Vadim Newquist

Physical attributes
Eye colour

Brown

Hair colour

Brown

It's pretty pathetic that someone would make a YouTube account and like, talk through an animal like that. It's just kind of really desperate.

— Vadim Newquist during episode 127.[2]

Now, go to Drunken Wiki and add more insults about me please, because I know that's how u guys deal with how butthurt I get you.

— Vadim on Twitter
Vadim "I Thought Drunken Recap Was A Good Idea"[3] Newquist (also known as The Cat Bitch[4] & Creationist Fat[5] by some turd-burglar) is an actor, director, singer, comedian, satirist, dick-monkey, professional shill, and creator of the celestial evangelist known as Creationist Cat. He has a predilection for Hawaiian shirts and pornstar moustaches. He's actually very talented, though he squanders a lot of his talent on a flaccid gimmick and can't seem to understand why his subscriber count is stagnant.[6] He first self identified as a full on atheist after watching The Atheist Experience, though also used to be into New Age Bullshit.

For everything he is pretty cool on, he has some interesting positions on children transitioning and other issues.[7] These days he seems to align with the Anti-Anti SJW crowd more and more, having got into a squabble with several people over Twitter in early 2017 on various topics, including BeyondPhere,[8] Armoured Skeptic,[9] and Sargon of Akkad.[10] He also has a major hard-on for The Young Turks.[11]

History

That's right, this is just a meme, just a meme, just a meme.

— Originally said by Spinosauruskin, said by the talking head of Vadim Newquist in a video spoken by Kraut and Tea.[12]

"Acting Career"

Vadim has had trouble finding the special someone in his life. His first attempt of finding love was on an old cable reality show called 3rd Date where he met a woman named Rebecca who described Vadim as attractive, but weird. Eventually she dumped Vadim for another guy named Matt. CC said the whole thing was fake and improvised, but he is probably just defending Vadim from embarrassment. It seemed Vadim was out of luck with women until April of 2007. Vadim went on a stroll though his neighborhood grocery store. There, he meet a beautiful woman and the two immediately fell in love. Another video involving him that was made public is Get Your Mouth Away From My Dick, a song by Vadim that blew everyone away with his siren-esque voice and beautiful complexion. He's Freddie Mercury with a handle-bar mustache and aviators.

Third Date! - Vadim loses love.
One Look - Vadim finds love.
Get Your Mouth Away From My Dick

On Creationist Cat

If God really is everywhere then I feel sorry for the part of him dat's up our butts.

— Vadim as Creationist Cat[13]

Creationist Cat is a character created by Vadim that stars in videos on the channel of the same name. The gimmick is that he is a real talking housecat that was zapped by God through the internet, giving him the knowledge to battle the evils of atheism and science worship with cold, hard, feline logic. Following the zapping, CC began to run YouTube channel, where he lovingly refers to his viewers as "sodomites" and encourages them to the links in the description which he has dubbed 'Da Christ Box'. He allows mortals he likes to refer to him simply as CC.

On this channel Vadim has worked with several YouTubers, including the Drunken Peasants. In addition, as Creationist Cat he has done interviews with Jaclyn Glenn & Anthony Fantano and has done a few guest appearances with The Bible Reloaded. In character, Creationist Cat refers to Vadim as his own hideous human slave after Devon Tracey made his real name public like a huge douche-nozzle.

On Drunken Peasants

Early History

Five Creationist Cat videos had been played on the show in total, a few even prior to a proper in-character guest appearance, though Vadim did not make a proper guest appearance as himself until much later. During the Q&A on episode 84, a question from Creationist Cat was played. Ben claimed that the video was akin to some of the "Church Of Gail shit." The peasants somehow got into a divisive argument about tacos during the video. Despite this, when CC asked if TJ renounced da religion of atheism, TJ, Ben, and Scotty all agreed with him and became creationists.

The Drunken Peasants featured CC exposing The Vigilant Christian as the dirty fucking Satanist he truly is in the episode 97, using the same technique TVC uses to expose the proposed satanic Illuminati agenda in the entertainment industry.[14] Despite enjoying his video, TJ ordered that the cat should be executed. CC's video was then taken down and flagged for "bullying" (and numerous mirrors of the video put up by other channels ensued). His video was later put up again after TVC stated that flagging the video was a violation of Freedom of Speech.

He made his second appearance in episode 106 that featured him going at TJ by attacking his most beloved hero, Marilyn Manson. TJ had defended Manson's strange performance on The Talking Dead on his vlog channel and CC proceeded to pick apart the reasons TJ posed for Manson's incoherent babbling while on his channel TJDoesLife. This actually affected TJ personally to the delight of Ben and Scotty, who wanted to get CC on the show when seeing this video.[15]

The Rap Battle

As Creationist Cat, he made his third appearance on the 107th episode where he was a guest and attempted to murder TJ, though later challenged G Man to a rap battle. On April 27th, 2015 G Man confirmed the rap battle and that it would happen live on the Drunken Peasants, which finally came to fruition in a legendary rap battle on the 121st episode, where Creationist Cat completely owned G Man so much that he got 70% of the votes. G Man, however, refused to believe that he lost, and accused the voters of bias. G Man also alluded to breaking the the kayfabe surronding Creationist Cat being Vadim, where he claimed that he was never zapped by God and was hiding a secret. G Man also shouted out Drunken Recap illuding to Vadim's disasterous appearance on the show.

Devon Tracey Drama

In July 2015, he was doc-dropped by Napoleon Dynamite over Twitter, which led to Vadim making an appearance on episode 127 of ԀP where he attempted to explain the whole situation in kayfabe, though to be fair he also he brutally eviscerated Napoleon's genitals on the issue (boom goes the dynamite). Vadim was very tired after a long day of wanking himself off, so he had to leave two-thirds through the show in order to get some sleep for a couple hours. Vadim showed his revolting face for a second time in episode 157 where he got his ass whipped like the piece of shit slave he is by Jean-François Gariépy. In the episode, Vadim discussed his utter distaste and hatred CC's Kangaroo Nemesis and, unfortunately, had to leave, though he appeared as CC mere minutes later.

Fundraiser with G Man

Creationist Cat, and G Man decided to host a live charity event to raise money to cure triple AIDS. They tried to destroy AIDS with a super prayer, because G Man's prayers are 100% successful. However, it didn't work. G Man blamed CC for its failure because CC was talking about blasphemous stuff like the Virgin Mary's breasts. This feud eventually lead to them officially scheduling a rap battle on June 19th, 2015 on the podcast. During the rap battle, admitted to stealing and sleeping with Creationist Cat's mom, leading the Drunken Peasants to conclude that G Man is likely his father.  After the podcast, a vote was held and CC won by 70%.

Quotes

As Vadim Newquist

An ass with zero acne is truly a thing to treasure.

— Vadim's wisest words.

Jenny McDermott can eat a bucket of donkey dicks.

— Vadim on Twitter.[16]

As Creationist Cat

Here, he is enticing you to smoke a big fat doobie.

— Creationist Cat speaking the truth about the Vigilant Christian's hand gestures

Miracle Whip IS NOT miraculous! Stop worshiping false idols people, especially if they come in a jar.

Creationist Cat: Do you hereby renounce da religion of atheism?
TJ: Yes
Scotty: Yes
Ben: Sure
— CC converts the Peasants into Christianity[17]

I'm young, single, and ready to ChristianMingle™[18]

What is my body type? Oh, definitely washboard.[19]

If God wanted your baby dead, he'd just kill it himself![20]

I consumed a can of tuna, laced with catnip and PCP...[21]

Wow, you just made Peter Dinklage twirl around in your eyes![22]

Halloween is a pagan-sodomite whore-fest of a holiday but if I did celebrate it I'd probably go as a sexy nurse...[23]

Thank god Jesus didn't have big boobs, I wouldn't be able to concentrate.[24]

It's da freaking vaccines in your cats dat are causing dem to crap outside da litterbox, wake up America!!![25]

Da second amendment should apply to cats too, I mean do you really think we'd be so skittish if we each had a gun???[26]

Da reason why dare are so few atheists in our prison systems is because they all escape with da help of their satanic science magic.[27]

Science is a Satanic left-wing conspiracy to brainwash people into believing things they have evidence for.[28]

And Satan so hated the world that he gave it Smosh...[29]

I just realized dat "Take Me To Church" song is about gay dudes & da butt sex... Are there gay-butt-sex churches out dare now? I hope not.[30]

Hey guys, just because of my species doesn't mean I agree with everything in the CATechism of da CATholic church.[31]

Pat Robertson showed up to church yesterday wearing da same oversized Pharell hat as me. I was mortified.[32]

Do NOT tax churches like regular businesses, God can't afford it![33]

Creationism Should be taught in public schools.

People, there are dark evil internet forces that are teaming up with luciferian secret societies to establish supremacy through mind control, and a perfect example is chemtrails.[34]

Legislators, please give us someone else to discriminate against!

— CC's speech after the tragedy of 6/26

No, it only seems dat way because blacks have very bad luck. Dats why day always die first in da movies, because day just have really bad luck. Come on, everybody knows dish, dats why it's bad luck to let one cross your path...[35]

I use a My Little Kitty Fleshlight, thank you very much...[36]

On Vadim Newquist

Why does CC even let his man-slave off the leash? Go back to fanning him and feeding him tuna, where you belong.

GirlDoesRant[37]

You went from Anthony Fantano to... this weird show.

— Vadim's appearance on Drunken Recap in a nutshell.[38]

That means a lot coming from a man who pretends to be a cat on the internet.

Sargon of Akkad[39]

Trivia

  • He gets more pussy than Mario and The Beast combined.
  • Vadim actually has an amazing singing voice.
  • AiU's fans made an entire website dedicated to slandering Vadim.[40] It has not aged particularly well.[41]
  • He is notoriously hideous, a fact to which CC continuously apologizes for when his audience is subjected to him.
  • He is the one who uploads and maintains Creationist Cat's channel (a cat can't do it himself).
  • His friend, Noah Warner, is also a human slave to CC.
  • He has a sexual attraction to Santa Claus. He has demonstrated multiple times that if you sit on Santa's "other leg," lots of presents will appear out of nowhere.
  • He doesn't care about embarrassing videos of himself.
  • He's hardcore and he knows the score.
  • Not long ago, you had your mouth on his dick, and you sucked it like a pro.
  • He is currently working on a movie called The Trap Door At The Edge of the Universe, which will star Haley Joel Osment. He helped fund it through IndieGoGo.
  • He has done a hangout with Armoured Skeptic. He has not yet released it.
  • Vadim's eyes have circles so dark they rival those of L from Death Note.
  • Vadim is known for plowing the line between hideous, and surprisingly fucking handsome. This depends entirely on whether he shaves.
  • Vadim once met Mister T, he was presumably - fucked in the ass by him. This likely motivated him to adopt CC.
  • During March of 2017, he did a collaboration with Anthony Fantano.[42][43]
  • He took issue when Fancy Badger made an article poking fun at the show Drunken Recap, Fancy has since declared Drunken Recap to be "The Vadim Newquist Show".
  • He is the only person cat to ever defeat Matt Dillahunty in a debate.
  • During a Creationist Cat chat episode, Darkmatter2525, the guest, disrespected CC and promptly got sent to Hell. Darkmatter was never heard from again, while CC stayed at Darkmatter's house in order to mark his new territory.
  • According to Scotty, Creationist Cat once belonged to TJ before being zapped by god. CC claimed on The New and Improved Drunken Peasants that this wasn't true.
  • TVC has condemned the false-flagging of a video in which CC mocks The Vigilant Christian.[44]
  • Cult of Dusty is planning to do a crossover with him.[45]
  • He has said that, although many scientists have gone to hell, nobody has been able to fix the air conditioner down there, and nobody ever will be able to.[46]
  • He read this article on Episode 107. He protested to being affiliated with the Muslim Brotherhood and claimed that he was actually a shepherd of the lord working for the Christian Brotherhood. [47]
  • Creationist Cat was called out by G Man on air in Episode 115.[48]
  • CC is described as a member of the Illuminati and wants to keep that under wraps.[49]
  • Creationist Cat sometimes distributes free "Get out of Hell" cards, demonstrating his generosity.[50]
  • Creationist Cat is a felinist[51][52][53], which explains how he became a cat supremacist.[54][55][56]
  • All cats are Christians, according to CC.[57]
  • He claims that cats can scratch their faces very quickly because of Jesus Power.[58]
  • Creationist Cat is against abortion in most cases, and the cases where abortion is a must, humans have to eat the fetus, according to him.[59]
  • He says gTime Johnny actually makes total sense to cats.
  • He has a crush on Joel Osteen.[60]
  • CC has done a hangout with the Bible Reloaded for only Patreon guests of their channels.[61]
  • One of CC's videos was played on some show on Comedy Central.
  • Vadim once mistakenly referred to CC as "her" on the Drunken Peasants, leading to rumors that Creationist Cat may be transgender.
  • CC once took a shit that resembled Ted Cruz.[62]
  • CC has appeared as a guest on two Chick Tract reading videos on Hugo and Jake's Bible Reloaded channel. CC also made a guest video about the war on Christmas, and one of his videos was mirrored on their channel.
  • Paul is glad that Creationist Cat is neutered.[63]

Gallery

Videos

A Chick Tract With Creationist Cat
Drunken Peasants Watch Creationist Cat Videos!
Creationist Cat theme played by The Bicycling Guitarist
Creationist Cat is Hell Bound?!
CC freakin' pwns Matt Dillacunty
Creationist Cat Rap Remix

Appearances

Sagas

AtheistRooSaga.png The Atheist Roo Saga
RooKKK.png
Challengers

Canadian AtheistCreationist Cat & Vadim NewquistDrunken PeasantsG ManJaclyn GlennKraut and TeaKyle KulinskiMr. RepzionTim BlackThe Outspoken RealistUzalu

Episodes

125127151152155157198199292299301

GmanSaga.png The G Man Saga
GManStarvingChild.png
Challengers

CultOfDustyThunderf00tJaclyn GlennJean-François GariépyCreationist Cat

Music

Atheist OwnedAtheists Pwned

Episodes

2021232527303144105107117118123126135140160231267279283
Guest: 282934363943697694100115121148176179201
Religion DebateReligion Debate 2

TheVigilantChristianSaga.png The Vigilant Christian Saga
MarioYoga.png
Challengers

Creationist Cat Drunken PeasantsEggheadVegan Gains

Episodes

273335373840414446475160646771929497113120124125130135137143145147149154158160The New and Improved Drunken Peasants 185186192
Guest: 148150

References

  1. https://tweetsave.com/vadimnewquist/status/844987134910124033
  2. http://drunken-peasants-wiki.com/wiki/Episode_127
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7z-IT7iNEQ
  4. https://youtu.be/9jA6dru0rUg?t=6m20s
  5. http://www.vadimnewquist.com/
  6. https://archive.is/IbReT
  7. https://archive.is/tZ2t4
  8. https://archive.is/PVHbJ
  9. https://archive.is/GcYPN
  10. https://archive.is/LMOB3
  11. https://youtu.be/AKE3OENUPIQ?t=8m12s
  12. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIhpzXZCWtA?t=28m10s
  13. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/588120193647411200 | Archive link: http://archive.is/fqAZR
  14. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMEsYISKV-M
  15. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnn9o9nhd68
  16. https://archive.is/daHM6
  17. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/vBuxXbEe0KQ?t=1m30s
  18. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/GQIeJCz0Wrs?t=8s
  19. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/GQIeJCz0Wrs?t=24s
  20. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=465Lq3yPRCA
  21. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/Ogdmf0g86-o?t=1m3s
  22. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/Ogdmf0g86-o?t=1m37s
  23. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/124173308647325696 | Archive link: http://archive.is/nCD2r
  24. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/490994247395733504 | Archive link: http://archive.is/Xe18T
  25. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/562808507515543555 | Archive link: http://archive.is/Jxf6x
  26. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/500813928461791233 | Archive link: http://archive.is/E6IPT
  27. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/469189094531428352 | Archive link: http://archive.is/IhYXm
  28. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/468440570210557954 | Archive link: http://archive.is/00mdE
  29. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/496795451359002624 | Archive link: http://archive.is/eesPd
  30. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/549650402929807361 | Archive link: http://archive.is/0qj0b
  31. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/458305878538469376 | Archive link: http://archive.is/BcqZI
  32. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/457410096965103616 | Archive link: http://archive.is/qIhWA
  33. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/491057506291310592 | Archive link: http://archive.is/srlXq
  34. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Ax4yncDbc
  35. Screenshot: http://imgur.com/AWmk24y
  36. Screenshot: http://imgur.com/slgqoNE
  37. http://puu.sh/qmSIY/1324140c47.png
  38. https://youtu.be/Jk7v5RiMBTA?t=2m30s
  39. https://archive.is/LMOB3
  40. http://www.vadimnewquist.com/
  41. https://archive.is/pyqP2
  42. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVqsDJQVzhQ
  43. https://archive.is/n9e6y
  44. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy3ZsfLA4qQ
  45. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7S2NeUdaTg
  46. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/472033674335371264 | Archive link: http://archive.is/nUmS2
  47. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPJZVMIG8GA
  48. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=356Vlk_PMkI
  49. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/598537259575582720 | Archive link: http://archive.is/6M49I
  50. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/573650609687105536 | Archive link: http://archive.is/KGOyG
  51. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/ufailowell/status/593803776428888064 | Archive link: http://archive.is/WdM3r
  52. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/534055355308068864 | Archive link: http://archive.is/du8hx
  53. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/603945610887200768 | Archive link: http://archive.is/ndj4q
  54. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/602712169466167296 | Archive link: http://archive.is/djiED
  55. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/576079437747212288 | Archive link: http://archive.is/pWs6h
  56. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/575309065926144000 | Archive link: http://archive.is/KiXvY
  57. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/574592789268291584 | Archive link: http://archive.is/iUNCG
  58. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/522901534351560704 | Archive link: http://archive.is/6BWBz
  59. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/504888624501235712 | Archive link: http://archive.is/3ToYn
  60. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/523859097226326018 | Archive link: http://archive.is/knm0Z
  61. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phlIZCHtFWs
  62. https://youtu.be/zPJZVMIG8GA?t=46m50s
  63. https://youtu.be/aUp2LR9-PPI?t=36m10s