Sean Hannity

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Bill O' Reilly's Uglier Twin
ModernSean.jpeg
Personal Details
Profession
  • Bio-Engineered Lifeform
  • Faux News commentator
Religion

Fox News-ism

Age

55

Birth date

December 30th, 1961

Birth place

Science Laboratory

Status

Manipulating situations to his advantage

Physical attributes
Eye colour

Brown

Hair colour

Artificial

"
I am a total loser, in every aspect of my life.
"
— Sean Hannity finally coming out of the closet.
Sean Patrick Hannity is an American conservative from New York and a commentator on Faux News, beloved by balding dads all across America. He often expresses his hatred of Pan and thus is considered by TJ to be worse than Bill O' Reilly. He is a Roman Catholic (aka not a real Christian according to the most intelligent man in the world). Hannity is pretty much Trump's only witness of his opposition to the Iraq war. He has mentioned that the mainstream media is very biased. He on the other hand, is clearly the most objective reporter in the universe, and isn't part of the mainsteam media at all.

TJ regularly has sex with Sean Hannity's hair although hates everything else about him. Ben mentions it frequently on Drunken Peasants and TJ has even posted pictures of it to his blog, leading to the incident known as HairGate. These pictures were met with universal acclaim, have won many awards in several ceremonies, and single-handedly brought world peace and ushered in a new era of post-scarcity and universal prosperity.

On Drunken Peasants

Charlie Hebdo Shooting

During episode 72, the peasants played a video in which they were forced to agree with Sean Hannity when he was doing an interview with some brown person who essentially believes the Charlie Hebdo people deserved what was coming to them by provoking Muslims and ULLUH. Sean talked about how much Islam is actually pandered too in French society and that they have a growing problem with radicals. His opponent then claims you shouldn't just be able to spout anti-Islamic ideas, even though he's fine with being able to spread his cancer religion wherever he wants. Hannity points out that the Muslim doesn't believe in freedom of speech and instead wants some sort of Islamic fascism, to which Razörfist agreed entirely.

Contested Convention

During episode 230, a video was played of Sean Hannity getting into an argument with Lyin' Ted over his plans to hold a contested convention. Cruz dodged Hannity's questions throughout the entire discussion despite Sean actually having a decent point about the flaws in the primary process and how Cruz is clearly trying to exploit that for his own gain. All the peasants agreed that even though they aren't fans of Trump, he should win the nomination if he gets the most votes. Shocking concept, right?

Clip Videos

Hannity vs. Weed
FOX NEWS SAYS POT MAKES YOU STUPID!
Sean Hannity's Worst Guest Ever!

Quotes

"
Can we pray for the reelection of George Bush?
"
"
It doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution this idea of the separation of church and state.
"
"
I have liberal friends. They are misguided, they are wrong. I disagree with them. I don't want them to vote. I want them to go on vacation in November.
"
"
Here you are, you're a liberal, probably define peace as the absence of conflict. I define peace as the ability to defend yourself and blow your enemies into smithereens.
"
"
Halloween is a liberal holiday because we're teaching our children to beg for something for free. … We're teaching kids to knock on other people's doors and ask for a handout.
"
"
[Liberal rhetoric] now is so over the top, it's so vicious, it's so mean, it's so cruel, and I don't hear this coming from conservatives about liberals.
"
"
Anyone listening to this show that believes homosexuality is a normal lifestyle has been brainwashed. It's very dangerous if we start accepting lower and lower forms of behavior as the normal.
"
"
The U.S. is the greatest, best country God has ever given man on the face of the earth.
"
"
Don't bring up race. Do not bring up race. Do not bring up race. It is a constitutional requirement.
"
"
Why can't they just release Obama's birth certificate, you know, and just move on?
"
— After Obama released his birth certificate
"
President Bush has not made one mistake in the Iraq war, not one.
"
"
I have a power, that power is Fox News' influence.
"

Appearances