Brett Keane

From Drunken Peasants Wiki
(Redirected from Satan)
Jump to: navigation, search
Situationbox.png
WARNING SITUATION!
Brett Keane's family situation has been attacked multiple times by the Peasants, ladies and gentlemen. As a result, this particular article is being monitored by the individuals sitting here at the NSA in order to maintain the best possible image of Brett's particular reputation situation. Also be sure to check out his gaming channel, GamesULove and his website GodTVRadio.corm!
Killer Keanestar
Getting ready to protect his family from atheist indivijuls.
Getting ready to protect his family from atheist indivijuls.
Personal Details
Profession
  • YouTuber indivijul
  • Leader of Brett Keane's posse situasion (which is mainly composed of himself)
  • Wanna-be Arch-nemesis of the Drunken Peasants
  • Published author situation (Eternal Undying Love)
  • The Fifth Drunken Peasant indivijul
Religion
  • Trumpism (yes, at the same time as feminism)
  • Feminism (for now)
  • Christianity...Again (for now)
  • Cross Roadism (formerly)
  • Truth Seekerism (formerly)
  • Christianity (formerly)
  • God Believerism (formerly)
  • None (atheist) (formerly)
Ideology

Being a lying piece of shit

Groups
Age

40 (really? fuck)

Birth date

December 21st, 1976

Spouse

Dorn

Children

Water headed Idiots

Residence

Festus, Missouri; United States

Status

Coming up with some new individual situations

Social Networking
Youtube channel
Website
Facebook

Brett Keane

Twitter

BrettKeaneVideo.com

Patreon

Brett Keane Video's and Live Show

FriendLife

GodTvRadio

Dailymotion

Brettkeane

Twitch

brettkeaneyoutube

Steam

brettkeane

Physical attributes
Eye colour

Brown

Hair colour

White as shit

Weight

Over 9000 lbs

Stop attacking my family.

— Brett Keane's infamously sexy catchphrase situation.

Brett Keane, you're not as slick as you think,
Caught in a lie, fuck knows how many times,
Brett Keane, you're not as slick as you think,
Except for the sleaze that secretes from your teeth!

— The Brett Keane Song summarizes his existence.

Hello ladies and gentlemen. Brett "The Stallion" Donald Keane, also known as The Butt King and The Bread Queen is the prolapsed vagina of a drunken sea cow[1] that now serves as the Joker to TJ's Batman. He's the human embodiment of deceit and slander, all while resembling and sounding like a hairless wookie. There is an entire segment of Drunken Peasants devouted to this water-headed manatee.

Description Situation

I've met some scumbags in my life, but every scumbag I've met (but Brett Keane) has a bottom. You figure out their scumbaggery and you go: "Oh, okay. That's his deal." Every time I think Brett Keane has hit bottom, he fucking mines his way into another chamber below it. Like, there's no end to the sewer that is Brett Keane. Like, he just produces nothing but shit and everything he accuses other people of, he's guilty of.

— PaulsEgo

Brett Keane is a particular matinee-human hybrid scumfuck individual who is the creator of over a dozen particular YouTube channels that keep getting removed because Brett can't follow YouTube's particular rules. He currently has 5 different individual channels, far too many, but at least it's less than The Vigilant Christian or Joseph Martelli has, ladies and gentlemen.

Recently Brett made a few videos which made some people speculate that he is an atheist again. Brett has been directly asked and he only said that he is currently in a "cross roads" situation.[2] Although, be aware that there is a possibility, ladies and gentlemen, that Brett is just bullshitting or trolling people with this judging by shit he has sat there pulling in the past. Before this he was a self-proclaimed Lie Spewer "Truth-seeker",[3] before that he was a Christian, before that he was a "God-believer" individual, and before even that he as an atheist whose deceitful actions caused him to fall from grace in the YouTube community. Because he is a particularly dishonest and traitorous asswipe individual, Brett manages to hold ornto friendships with as much grasp as a bar of soap in the prison situation he deserves to rot in. If it weren't for his cornstant appearances orn the Drunken Peasants, he would surely dissipate into nothingness.

Brett Keane is also the creator of a unique language situation which includes unnecessarily adding the particular words "Individual", "Situation" and "Particular" in spoken sentences at random times, along with constant use of the phrases "sit(ting) (t)here" and "ladies and gentlemen" (the latter of which he opens every one of his videos with). He mentions penis size a whole lot when trying to be insultive, proving his cock is under a centimeter. Keane is well-known for recording private conversations without people's permission and being called out for it afterwards.[4][5]

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Brett is the very particular living definition of this quote, ladies and gentlemen. Such examples include sitting there and making the exact same videos over and over and over again orn how:

  • Hitler, Mussolini, Hirohito, Pol Pot, Stalin and TJ are all atheists, therefore atheists are all evil.
  • Everything bad that happens to him orn the internet or anyone in the world happens because atheism as a whole somehow did it.
  • He doesn't hate atheists and never said anything bad about the good induhviduls.
  • Some guy somewhere committed a felony and may or may not have been agnostic or something: Are all atheists demons?
  • CLICK HERE! Special guest The Drunken Peasants!! (does not feature The Drunken Peasants)
  • Atheists are false flagging me! Dundu northun!
  • TJ is a scammer
  • TJ's atheist father was a scammer.
  • TJ's bitch whore mother was a scammer, "like a regular Bonnie and Clyde, but not as cool".
  • TJ attacks his family.
  • TJ has a "micromanagement" (small penis).
  • TJ fucked a banana (treats this like a huge revelation every single time)
  • TJ is a pedophile.
  • TJ is a racist.
  • TJ is a rapist
  • He's gonna sue TJ for slander and liability.
  • Paul is sterile.
  • Paul is a pedophile.
  • Paul has depression.
  • He's gonna get Paul arrested for slander.
  • Ben is a "Rey Mysterio Asshole" and shows his real face.
  • Scotty is an irrelevant nobody that can't succeed orn YouTube alone.
  • Scotty should leave the show because he can do so much better orn YouTube alone.
  • The Drunken Peasants are harassing and slandering him.
  • The Drunken Peasants are attacking his family.
  • Threatening to sue or DMCA the Peasants for "stealing" his videos.
  • The Peasants are all unemployed because an internet job is not a job.
  • To please donate to his Pay-trin so he can keep making videos, or he's gorn.
  • If [insert petty ultimatum here] is not met, he's gorn.
  • I'm gorn, I'm never coming back, this time I totally mean it, I swear to Christ
  • I'm back guys, I never said I was gorn for good.
  • Being a general norcissist.

Said videos usually go into a cycle of being made, being respornded to orn DP, being respornded to by others, getting the others flagged, removing the videos and claims he either never made them or will never again, then do new ones months later.

History

Brett Keane you're not as slick as you think, caught in a lie fucking knows how many times.

— A line from his theme song.

Many years ago, Keane was a semi-popular atheist YouTuber and had actually given support to particular channels like The Amazing Atheist and Paul's Ego but eventually took orn shady tactics such as plagiarizing or using vote bots. With his audience learning about his true colors, he lost the trust of his fans and other YouTuber individuals.

Despite Keane's negative reputation, ladies and gentlemen, TJ has openly admitted several times that Keane inspired him to start his The Amazing Atheist channel situation. TJ himself had turned orn Brett Keane after Brett accused him of an "attacking his family", a ploy he would become particularly notorious for, after cornstantly using it to direct his fan's hatred situations towards some particular individuals.

After his fall from grace, he came upon hard times and resorted to e-begging. Most of the money he received came from Christians, which he saw this as a sign from his God and became a theist individual. Despite the crap he sits there and talks orn the peasants at each and every particular opportunity, he would have faded into obscurity a lorng time ago if it wasn't for DP.

Orn Drunken Peasants

Brett Keane has been featured orn the Drunken Peasants many times, ladies and gentlemen, and his constant particular shit-stirring has made him a particularly prominent individual among the particular ԀP fanbase, leading to him being considered one of ԀP's greatest most pathetic enemies. He has frequently sat there accusing TJ of plotting to shut down his channel, sending votebots against his videos, being a scam ortist, as well as attacking his family and numerous other bullshit accusations. Keane is often seen as the peasants' arch nemesis, always managing to creep his way back into being the particular center of attention individual for his somehow ever-increasing scumfuckery.

Brett Keane - DP Highlights
Brett Keane - The Beginning
Brett Keane - Cancelling His Internet
Brett Keane - The Blue Period
Brett Keane - Making Fuck All Sense
Brett Keane - Paul's Voicemails
Brett Keane - Keane's Copyright

Religion Debate Situation

Scotty more subs than brett.png

He first showed up orn the podcast with Che Dubs, TrueEmpiricism, and G Man. The intent was to have a debate situation with the Drunken Peasants orn the creation of the universe. This did not end well, as TrueEmpiricism had asked the same particular question multiple times until he had finally worn orn TJ's nerves. TJ then asked Brett Keane to kick True Empiricism from the call. After True left, G Man continued the debate by making points the Peasants said were complete nonsense. Paul's Ego also made an appearance where he angrily attacked Brett Keane for the trouble he caused in the past.

Brett Keane had always been followed by a group of friends into these hangouts and never talked to the Peasants alone. The Peasants asked him to come orn without his group of notoriously cunty friends. Instead of coming orn alone, ladies and gentlemen, he posted a video orn how the Peasants planned orn ambushing him and making him look like a fool situation. The Peasants were furious at Brett Keane for posting this publicly instead of trying to sit there talking the situation over personally. Ben sent Brett Keane a message orn the Skype telling him he was banned from the show indefinitely. Eventually Ben and TJ eased up and began showing his content again.

Brett Keane Saga Situation

His theme song situation.

On the episode 39 of Drunken Peasants, Brett Keane was brought up again when Ben played a video situation from an animator individual named SyeTenAtheist who previously had his video G-Man The Motherfucking Opera featured orn the show. Brett Keane The Motherfucking Opera was sort of a sequel to the G-Man opera, featuring Brett Keane as the star individual. The opera parodied Brett Keane's fickleness situation in faith, penchant for claiming someone attacked his family, his publicly known spousal abuse situation, his shitty book, and a variety of other situations.

At one point he sat there and presented a garbled, distorted audio file of some individual repeatedly saying that "Brett Keane is a nigger." Keane accused TJ of creating the audio file, thus proving that The Amazing Atheist is a deceitful racist individual. Orn further inspection, the audio file was actually edited together audio from individual TJ videos.

TJ noted that Brett Keane's particular religious belief situations tend to align with whichever particular group of individuals pays him the most particular money. To attempt to draw Keane from God Believer situation, TJ offered Brett a ten dollar per month payment with a bonus of one box situation of Krispy Kreme donuts. The payment is doubled if Keane converts to Islam and has his wife individual wear a particular Muslim veil situation.

Return of the Particular Matinee Indivijul

[Jaclyn Glenn] couldn't come up with an idea if it sat orn her face and wiggled its balls orn her chin. *snort* I personally think she's an upside down mop beanpole. *snort* I prefer a female with meat *snort* as opposed to these skinny *snort* flat chested um... long haired Tales From the fucking Crypt-looking women.

— Proving he's a feminist individual.
The Keane in his glory days, when he still had his teeth.
After more than a year since appearing orn the show, Brett returned as a guest orn episode 166 of ԀP. The entire episode was nothing but Brett trying to make up bullshit to cover up the lies that were presented to him by Paul's Ego and the rest of ԀP. Unfortunately, the Peasants were unable to pressure Mr. Keane for too long due to his sensitivity to French Vanilla and a lack of diapers.
Being an ultimate internet badass induvidul orn Twitter.

Hanging up the Particular Wife Beater Situation

♪Take orn me! (Take orn me!) Take me orn! (Take orn me!) I'll be Gorn... for a day or two~♪

— From Brett's totally original single situation: "The Amazing Atheist Individual Wants to Assault Me"

Brett decided to hang up the boots for the millionth time after God told him that his quest to promote his Word (by making videos intent orn stirring up e-drama to remain within the spectrum of relevance) should be better put to rest, a message made in the form of not overturning a strike made orn one of Brett's scam vids (which Brett claimed was flagged for containing "sexual content"). Brett announced in episode 178 that he will no longer make videos about religion... oops... "God-Believism", and will only continue to produce content orn his gaming channel, GamesULove. Click Subscribe

As the catastrophe of Brett's endless view-whoring crusade reaching another end came to light, the bets were up and Brett's inevitable return was as predictable as the content of The Vigilant Christian's next video, and oh boy were they right.
Ci4NZ10U4AAuwfk.jpg

The Cycle Situation Corntinues

The Stallion came clip-clopping back in less than a week when he came to the conclusion that God did want him to continue making more videos with negligible amounts of views to spread his holy message; one snort at a time. To the peasant's surprise, the video (not really a video at this point; more of an incarnation of several of this nature) ushering Brett's return was focused entirely orn talking about Christianity and not about leeching off others bigger than him. One must wonder when Brett will eventually return to his old ways, but that's a situation for another time.

During the whole Joseph Martelli situation at the Drunken Peasants meetup, Brett felt like he could easily earn Joseph's and decided to befriend him. Joseph occasionally appears in some of Brett's hangouts and occasionally gets promoted to moderator when Brett's off doing his french vanilla situation.

#TeethGate 2016

After getting told by TJ and Paul that he would be paid 1,000 USD for showing his mouth, Brett showed up orn Episode 235 of the Drunken Peasants and showed his fake teeth, revealing he is a toothless individual. TJ still refused to pay him since Brett didn't show his gums like TJ asked him to do which caused Brett to do 100+ videos that failed to prove TJ was a Scamming scumfuck individual. A schism occurred where several DP fans took Brett's side and agreed that TJ was being a cunt to poor old Brett Keane.

He finally shows his gums after a week of back-peddling and bullshit.

On May 10th Brett made a video showing his gums clearly. After seeing this TJ tweeted to Brett telling him that he will pay him the money. After Brett Keane told TJ Pay-trin was a valid option for payment TJ went ahead and pledged $1000 there. TJ decided to do this so that Brett couldn't claim he didn't get paid.

Brett Keane is "sad" that he didn't get $1000 immediately.

Brett, however, was somehow able to turn this into drama, and so, being unsatisfied, Brett publicly asked Pay-trin to delete his Pay-trin account. Orn May 11th Brett made several videos threatening to delete his account if the money doesn't go specifically in his PayPal within 24 hours. TJ didn't respond to Brett and Brett claimed he was leaving YouTube forever, until a couple hours later when he started making videos again orn a regular basis situation.

Brett removed these videos soon after everyone realized he was being his normal scamming self. However Brett failed to realize people already downloaded these videos and that thousands have seen it as a result. The video was played orn the 245th episode of DP where TJ realized how he can make Brett do anything as long as he get money.

As Brett Changed his position orn TJ he also Changed his position orn Atheism. Brett announce that he would be defending both Atheism and Christianity at the same time Due to the money given by TJ and other atheists.

Fite Stibulations

After having enough of Brett's shit, Ben challenged The Stallion himself to a fight to the death situation. Brett Keane, blind as a bat, mistook Ben for TJ, and 'renegotiated' the terms of the fight situation. His stibulations were that they all fight him, each for a wager of 5,000 bucks, and on his property. He also demanded that of they lose, they quit youtube, and if he loses (like that'll ever happen, right?) he quits youtube; for the millionth time in YouTube history.

The peasants were too clever to fall for Brett's ingenious plan to goad them onto his property. I guess there are SOME people out there that can outwit the almighty Stallion.

Second Brett Keane Episode Controversy

Due to popular demand, the Peasants are making a sequel to 23 Situations: An Oddyssey into Brett Keane. Originally, TJ offered Brett 500 dollars in exchange for 2 hours of Brett's time on the show. Brett accepted, under the "stibulation" that the amount is raised to $1,000. TJ agreed, and told Brett to wait for a contract.

Of fucking course, Brett found a way to spin this into drama and caused a rift within the DP fanbase over whether it was worth it to have Brett on the show at all. At one point, The peasants offered money to Justin Keane, Dorn, Brett's water-headed idiot son, and even J dubs to come on the show instead. This idea was tossed around a bit, until Brett made a video saying "None of my family ARE real friends and want to go orn either". (Seriously, he's so fucking stupid that he wrote "are" in place of "or").

Eventually, Brett agreed to go orn for the $1,000, provided that the money go to JezuzFreek777's daughter for an operation. Brett neglected to tell the peasants that JezuzFreek777 told him a long time ago that he would reject the money from Brett. Knowing Brett's character, Paul speculated that Brett only offered the money to JezuzFreek777, knowing he would decline, so that Brett could keep the money himself. Let's be honest, Brett is so transparent that's probably exactly the case.

Becoming Brothers with The Vigilant Christian

In a collision between 2 horrible worlds of stupidity, Brett has joined forces with Mario. Mario hilariously kept referring to Brett as his brother in Christ during episode 311. Brett told the story of his "conversion"... again... and it once again contradicted every story he has ever told. Brett is such a liar that he claimed that in 2006 he got 3000 subscribers off of his very first video alone. For those who are new to Youtube or the internet, 3000 may not sound that impressive now, but in those days, that would have made you the king of Youtube. Brett is obviously full of shit, and Paul even mentioned how he remembers watching Brett's 1000 subscriber celebration video.

Starve the Manatee

Starting with the new year of 2017, The Drunken Peasants will be taking an indefinitely-long hiatus from Brett. It's worth noting that in the three weeks that it took the DP to move to Seattle, Brett went way off the fucking deep end. If this happens on a short scale, the comedy gold that will ensue after several months of this will be hilarious. TJ said he wanted to do this because Brett has developed an ego about himself. However, he is still making videos. As of 2-6-17, Butt king's main channel, GordTVradio situation, has dropped to 2962 subs due to atheist individuals, (which is odd, as that number has stayed the same for around a month) and his view count has gorn down by 61.6%. He is getting 0 daily subs, however his channel is at an all time high in terms of subscribers. The manatee has enough fat to sustain himself for a lorng winter situation. GamesUlove has gorn down by 35.4% in terms of views, and has gorn down by 101% in terms of subs.

In A Particular Nutshell Situation

Manatee cycle.jpg
Keane's method of arguing.

Orn Creationist Cat Indivijul

Brett Keane's Very Murderous Death Situation!

One day, Brett Keane called the Creationist Cat Individual in an attempt to to rope the lord's chosen cat into into a murder/death conspiracy situation. Brett had formulated a plan to destroy the Drunken Peasants and break TJ's spirit forever; but Brett required the godly powers of Creationist Cat to enact his plan. CC protested, stating that he'd feel like a dick for killing the Drunken Individuals after they had him orn the podcast. After Brett kept trying to get CC's help, CC revealed that his true hatred of Brett comes from a video Brett made in the past, doing a voice-over of an animated cat individual, which CC claimed is extremely demeaning to his species. CC then banned Brett from his Skype.

After this video was uploaded and the world saw Brett's plan, he went orn his channel to state that the video wasn't real in an attempt to save face. Brett stated that it wasn't him in the video, but Paul impersonating him, and even had the gall to say that Creationist Cat wasn't zapped by god, but is just a guy doing satire.

Luckily, like Brett's copyright, nobody bought this shit.

Keane-isms to look for.

Channel Situations 

When Brett sees the booty.
  1. (Terminated) GodTVRadio
  2. (Terminated) BrettKeaneHollywood
  3. (Terminated) Sub2KeaneVlogs
  4. (Terminated) Gforlife77
  5. (Terminated) KeaneVlogs
  6. (Terminated) AliCross510
  7. (Terminated) BrettKeane2HOT4YT
  8. (Terminated) PopeLovesCandy
  9. (Terminated) brettkeaneisgod
  10. (Terminated) MrEvilution777
  11. (Terminated) BrettKeaneWarcraft
  12. (Terminated) brettkeanedotcom
  13. (Terminated) Subscribe2KeaneVlog
  14. (Terminated) BrettKeaneJR
  15. (Terminated) TheStallion76
  16. (Terminated)  BKwolfman
  17. BrettKeaneVidz
  18. BKwolfman999
  19. MrSTOPCriminalScum
  20. GodTvRadio Brett Keane
  21. God is Great and Loves Brett Keane (formerly Brett Keane Superstar)
  22. Brett Keane Live Show (formerly GodTvRadio International and 5th Drunken Peasants Member Brett Keane Show)
  23. GamesULove
  24. MoviesULove

Eight out of the twenty four channels haven't been terminated yet - great work, Brett.

TJ commented that there may be even more channels that have been deleted while this list was a read aloud in episode 172.[6]

His "Hangout" Situations

SyeTenAtheists' video situation orn Keane (featured in Episode 39)

Everyone gets a turn orn the Brett Keane punching bag.

— TJ Kirk[7]

Brett's Hangouts are a complete joke. The idea of that he wants to create a "dialogue" is bullshit. Whenever someone Brett encounters someone who knows what they're doing and points out the blatant sophistry, he immediately kicks them for some bullshit reason. If you know what you're doing if you play along with their bullshit, he will strawman you, throws in red herrings, moves the goal posts, lies constantly and uses ad hominems, and if you can get passed all of that nonsense, he'll kick you, However, if you perhaps are new to debating, he or one more likely one of the other dumb-asses in the hangout, will bully you with nonsensical arguments that no one without a Ph.D in bullshit-ology will be able to understand. He'll also demean you then kick you if you're under 18 and say so.

Each hangout lasts about 8 hours and most of the time Brett is away either sleeping or beating his wife while letting other christian individuals moderate.

Particular Verbal Crutch Situations

Brett is absolutely notorious for particular words and expressions that he runs ornto the ground, ladies and gentlemen, in order to make himself sound like an intellectual individual. The first of particular quirks was his overuse of the word "situation" at random times in a video. Whenever Brett gets mocked for overusing a phrase, he stops using it, tries to flip the situation orn its head by claiming that it was a self-parody, and moves ornto another word-situation.

As situation started fading out, ladies and gentlemen, he began to use other word situations such as "particular", "individual", and "equation". Most Recently, he has been ridiculed for his use of the expression "sit(ting) (t)here".[8]

Other Brett Keane speech patterns include his pronunciation of the word/sound "on" as "orn", and his redundant use of "Ladies and Gentlemen". It has also been pointed out that Brett says "Louisiana" as "Lucy-anna". Also pronounces "been" as "bean".

Brett has a quirk where he says "as well as" instead of just saying "and". This might not sound like much, but when his sentences run-on for way too long, it is much more noticeable.

Brett says "contradict" as "counterdict".

Brett often makes grammatical errors such as "I seen this" or "I seen that".

When Brett talks about god-buhleever indivijuls, he commonly cross-references "Christians, Muslims, Pagans and Jews".

As of lately, Brett has been coining a new phrase situation consisting of "This may shock you, but...", followed by a very believable statement.

According to Paul in the all Brett Keane episode, "insultive" was a common phrase used by Brett that even predates his notoriety for situation. You would have to be a Brett Keane historian to know that. It was also noticed that Brett used to pronounce "pwn" as "pawn". You read that correctly. Also used in the particular phrase "insultin duh shit outta".

To this day, Brett still refers to the "no true scotsman" fallacy as the "Old Scotsman" fallacy. He's also so fucking stupid that he thinks "quote mine" is said as "mine quoting".

The overall theory ladies and gentlemen is as follows: The more syllables a word has, the more likely Brett will try to use it and the less likely it will be used properly.

Brett is known to use "out there" quite a lot. For example, "....a lot of christians out there", "a lot of people out there".

Hilariously, Brett pronounces Kent Hovind's name as Kent hoe-vine

Particular Quotes

Crusty old Brett.

I had a lot of friends, I ended up killing most of them.

— Brett Keane's most honest statement[9]

None of my family are real friends.

— What he thinks of his own family

...no cheese.

— Brett Keane before the domestic abuse situation.

[Duplicitous phrase in a possibly now-deleted/privated video represented by X] *many months later* I never said [X]!

— The Manatee Defense

Don't put french vanilla orn your coffee.

— Brett grives a warning orn how avoid being in his situation during episode 166.[10]

Like father, like son.

— Keane confirms himself as a deadbeat piece of shit.[11]

Listening to him almost every single time has made my asshole quiver, I have almost felt like taking a dump. Luckily, like Deadpool says, "I'm wearing brown pants, so i'm good to go."

— Brett Keane, likely talking about himself and of course, gets the quote completely wrong.[12]

CultOfDusty, what exactly is he doing for starving children?

— Keane asks Dusty Smith the hard questions.[13]

I keep orn asking myself: 'Come orn, god'.

— Brett accidentally tells the truth.

Hey man, this is Paul. I sound like I've been sucking on some wooden cock and I've got splinters in my throoo-wooah-ooat. -Laughs in Hutt-

— Keane's impression of Paul on acid.[14]

I'm Batman. Tell all your homosexual friends about me.

— A real quote by Brett. [15]
FakeSagan: Do you, like I do, carry the sin of having ever raised your hand against a woman in you life? Have you ever done that?
Brett Keane: I have never hit my wife in my life.
FakeSagan: Then I envy you sir.
— During his interview of Brett. Gullible as fuck.[16]

Sheep getting fucked in the ass with a barbwire dildo.

— At least you're not Brett Keane.[17]

I will predict this right now and I'm never wrong about my predictions.

— Being intellectually dishonest as ever.[18]

The Brett Keane Song Situation

The Brett Keane Song

On April 21st of 2011, a professionally produced song was made about how Brett isn't a slick as he thinks and has been caught in a lie fuck knows how many times. It was created by Matt O'Neil and can still be found orn YouTube. Ben initially planed to use the song as part of the Brett Keane segment and has used it as an intro to his videos in the past. It was initially planned to be used in the Brett Keane segment and was first played orn episode 163. The full lyrics can be found below:

"Hello ladies and gentleman. This is Brett Keane."

Brett Keane, you're not as slick as you think,

Caught in a lie, fuck knows how many times,

Brett Keane, you're not as slick as you think,

Except for the sleaze that secretes from your teeth.

We trust you just as much as sin,

A wolf in sheep's clothing just won't begin,

To justify the scorn you've drawn,

No-one will shed a tear when we know you're gone.

I try to stay away from you... now this just wouldn't do!

Brett Keane, you're not as slick as you think,

Caught in a lie, fuck knows how many times,

Brett Keane, you're not as slick as you think,

Except for the sleaze that secretes from your teeth.

Dearest Brett, we've done the math,

We found all the stories come directly from your ass,

Not a single syllable you utter could ever fix,

The house of cards you tore apart,

So just remember this.

Brett Keane, you're not as slick as you think,

Caught in a lie, fuck knows how many times,

Brett Keane, you're not as slick as you think,

Except for the sleaze that secretes from your teeth.

Now it's Just one in two. (x8)
Brett Keane you're not as slick as you think.
Caught in a lie fuck knows how many times.
Hey!
Brett Keane you're not as slick as you think!
Except for the sleaze that secretes from your teeth!
Brett Keane you're not as slick as you think!!
Caught in a lie fuck knows how many times!!
Brett Keane you're not as slick as you think!!
Except for the sleaze that secretes from your teeth!!
Now it's just one two. (x3)
Hey!

Trivia

  • Brett upvotes his own videos and comments orn YouTube; evident by the blue thumbs-up any time her has a screenshot of his videos/comments. He also likes his own tweets and videos orn Twitter to the point that he tweets about them, then auto-tweets that he liked his own video one second after. As well as showing his own icon under certain tweets for those that liked it.
  • He's so incompetent orn Twitter that most of his tweets besides tweets saying that he uploaded videos and liked his own uploads are tweets sending those videos as induvidul tweets to The Peasants and/or people he's blocked; not seeming to realize that those people can't see them.
    Brett takes a breath.
    Brett has called the ԀP Wiki a cult of child-slaves ruled over by TJ. He has also tried to use our writing as leverage against the peasants in the past.
  • Brett has described himself as being of Irish, Indian, and even negroid descent.[19]
  • If you want to see his World of Warcraft character click here.
  • He suffers from a particular mental problem called "norsissistick personal disorderly".
  • Brett has received a few nicknames including Butt King and Bread Queen. Brett also dubbed himself "The Stallion" at one point, which is now used to mock him.
  • Brett once tried to visual-dox Ben and iMustDestroyAll by tweeting them both pictures of them without masks and cheekily complimenting their looks. Like most self-created dirt, this was hastily deleted the instant people called him out.
  • He laughs like a grizzled stir-crazy prospector.
  • Hilariously, he did not know what a matinée was.
  • In the fair use warning that Brett puts up on almost all of his videos, there is a typo. Instead of parody it says "paradoy".
  • He has compared Scientology to being an atheist. Calling them both death cults.[20]
  • Keane's Hollywood opening was well-received by the Drunken Peasants fanbase and has been dubbed "Final Jesus".
  • Brett's family live in constant peril, spending every waking hour dreading the imminent assault of the Peasants.
  • Keane condemned LGBT in episode 101 because a trolling straight guy made a hilarious video expressing their immense lust for Jesus Christ.
  • McKenzie Heritage, a former member of Keane's posse, once tried to DMCA Brett for using her artwork, as discussed by the peasants during episode 106.[21] The slimy fuck still uses it in his logo to his day.[22]
  • Brett Keane's passive aggressive apology to TJ was featured in episode 115.
  • TJ has suggested that Brett Keane became a feminist, as it's guaranteed that his followers won't be able to see through his bullshit situations. This notion came through in episode 118 when Brett condemned the anti-feminism attitude in the atheist community. Not that he ever changes his attitude at all or pulls any punches that are insultive to female atheists.
  • Brett Keane snores while he is awake, according to Ben. This can be heard whenever he breathes into a microphone.
  • Brett Keane is currently the strongest evidence for evolution, as he is the missing link individual between humans and the matinée, the humatinée.
  • Brett Keane claims to have been savagely beaten as a youth, seen a drunk guy get hit by a car & saved an infant from being run over by a car.
  • He wrote many of the positive reviews for his "books" orn Amazon, as displayed orn episode 151.[23]
  • The vote-bots orn his videos.
    He and The Vigilant Christian have become friends through their mutual hatred of the Drunken Peasants attacking their lord and savior, individual Kent Hovind.
  • He literally disagrees with TJ orn every single particular issue, seriously find one situation where they agree. If TJ took a stance orn breathing, Keane would probably suffocate.
  • Brett once joined forces with Jenny McDermott, another YouTuber known for being a lying, cuntish, false-DMCAing, souldead, attention-whoring scumfuck individual with a bestial appearance. Their relationship is in a constant state of orn and orff again, depending orn when it's convenient to both norcissists.
    Brett Keane's particular channel's statistic situations
  • Watching his gaming channel has been proven by an elite group of researchers to be more painful than ancient Chinese suicide rituals. Half of the videos don't even have commentary.
  • He's released his phone number in the past because he's a dumbass. Then said the Peasants doxxed him for showing his number orn their show... in his own videos.
  • Brett has a giant, bulbous, infected wart orn his hand.
  • He claims to have agoraphobia, though he has made plenty of videos in the outdoor situation when he was an atheist.
  • Lately, he has been asking his fans if anyone of them are a "mean lawyer" that can take his case for free, so he can "sue all the scammers". Meaning all the times previously, presently, and in the future when he says he's already contacted a lawyer are of course bullshit.
  • As of July 2016 Brett is going through his "Maybe I am a god believer" phase ; more updates will follow.
  • He has been involved in a scandal where Brett stole people's Fallout 4 mods and branded them as his own.
  • He calls his patrons, "patreorns" or "pay-trins".
  • He, along with Tommy Sotomayor and Onision, are the only DP antagonists to have a special episode dedicated to only them.
    • You can buy Brett's here.
    • He is the only antagonist to have a sequel episode made, which you can buy here
  • To learn a bit more about Brett and his family, please visit the following link.
  • During episode 285, Brett claimed he would leave YouTube for good (again!) if Donald Trump lost the 2016 election.
  • He considers himself a celebrity, all just because people know about him in a negative light from a YouTube podcast about four stoners.[24]
  • Ever since he came out of his mother's vagina, he has longed for cigarettes and had the teeth necessary to eat steak.
  • Brett Keane lives in the shadow of his much cooler, and genuinely awesome, brother Justin Keane.
  • TJ suggested during episode 255 that in an alternate reality, Brett was a popular YouTuber under the alias of Keanestar.[25]
  • He did an interview with FakeSagan that was essentially a big hugfest between the two former enemies. Everything Keane said was believed by Case because he swore on The Bible.[26]
  • According to Brett, he once made a three-part series against Tommy Sotomayor sometime in 2013.[27]
  • According to the Drunken Peasants (specifically PaulsEgo) Brett gave their home address (when TJ, Scotty and Ben were living in Ohio) to DP Stalker Joseph Martelli.
  • It is a known fact that Brett Keane is an interdimensional manatee that lives in PaulsEgo's ass. He is usually kept in place by Pimpmunk's powerful gnome powers, but whenever Brett is freed he will immediatly seek out the nearest bowl of Mac and Cheese after exiting from the black hole that is Paul's asshole.

Particular Image Gallery Situation

"Fan" Art Gallery Situation

Appearances

Sagas

BrettKeaneSaga.png The Brett Keane Saga
KeaneManatee.png
Challengers

Devon TraceyDrunken Peasants (PaulsEgo) • FakeSaganG ManPimpmunkSyeTenAtheistTommyFromTheBronx

The Masters of Stupidity

FakeSagan † • GalaxyDreams † • G Man † • Jenny McDermottJDubsMcKenzie Heritage † • NephilimFreeRanCam CampbellShannyIsMeTrueEmpiricism

Related Articles

Indivijul Brett Keane Segment SituationDawn KeaneFamily SituationJustin Keane

Episodes

212223313854617174757677787982848689101105108115117118119123125126133136138140141143144146152153158161162163176178180188191192198199200201202203204205206207223227230234236237240245249251252254255257258259260261263266267268269270271272273274275276277278279280281283285287288288.5289290291292293294304305306307308310312313314
Guest: 20166235295296Religion DebateReligion Debate 2

JennyMcDermottSaga.png The Jenny McDermott Saga
PT7K6Aekc.png
Waifus

Anita SarkeesianBewildered ApeBrett KeaneLaughing WitchKevin Logan

Sources of attention

Armoured SkepticDrunken PeasantsFancy BadgerRichard CoughlanSargon of AkkadShoe0nHeadThunderf00t

Episodes

474881DMCAGate 2015 (82 & 83) • 123146153164169

YDPT7cKC.png The Joseph Martelli Saga
Bible-1108074 960 720.png
Stalkers

Tommy From The BronxDrunken Peasants PodcastBrett KeaneLanceCplThomasPimpmunkx

Episodes

5657203208213217227246256

References

  1. https://youtu.be/4mpHhtRc-kA?t=40m
  2. Screenshot: http://i.imgur.com/XFzHxkT.png | YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBbMQMg9pCU&lc=z130zzk5goqygpfjk04civhifmudu15r0u00k
  3. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOvgJTtw5Ls
  4. https://youtu.be/GByP-sutAmk?t=1h10m40s
  5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haWKbndGgiw
  6. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/cIfZofbTZ1s?t=23m5s
  7. http://ask.fm/TJTheAmazingAtheist/answers/137368358135
  8. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFgO47gz6ss
  9. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/YreczEUxpRI?t=3
  10. https://youtu.be/9kdzyKBORrk?t=1h10m40s
  11. https://youtu.be/9kdzyKBORrk?t=1h35m10s
  12. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtdT8_llFD0
  13. https://youtu.be/3t2mExCuIkE?t=1h11m50s
  14. https://youtu.be/uY24F7vjT5w?t=3m
  15. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uY24F7vjT5w&feature=youtu.be&t=3m30s
  16. https://youtu.be/zHwh31Mwi30?t=8m45s
  17. https://youtu.be/6GxpQ9zZPP0?t=1m14s
  18. https://youtu.be/8R-UvTDFneI?t=6m25s
  19. https://youtu.be/8R-UvTDFneI?t=4m5s
  20. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se6qUDcbcBg
  21. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOZmjjY0ixs&feature=youtu.be&t=1h34m11s
  22. https://www.reddit.com/r/drunkenpeasants/comments/5bcv45/episode_where_artist_filed_dmca_against_brett_for/
  23. Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Eternal-Undying-Love-Brett-Keane/dp/141160802X | Archive link: http://archive.is/5jsDm
  24. https://youtu.be/uY24F7vjT5w?t=7m43s
  25. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTuR6CivVKU&feature=youtu.be&t=30m40s
  26. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHwh31Mwi30
  27. https://youtu.be/mmvp8zW-cw8?t=1h4m40s