Razörfist

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Nostradamus, the Hand of Fate
"I'm Razörfist, God fucking speed!" (the umlauts are phonetically conveyed as "hipster").
"I'm Razörfist, God fucking speed!" (the umlauts are phonetically conveyed as "hipster").
Personal Details
Profession
  • Video Game reviewer
  • Critic
  • Hipster
Religion

Gunism

Age

23

Residence

Phoenix, Arizona; United States

Status

Hating Final Fantasy.

Social Networking
Youtube channel

The Rageaholic

Facebook

The Rageaholic

Twitter

RAZ0RFIST

Tumblr

The Rageaholic

Twitch

raz0rfist

Physical attributes
Eye colour

Aviator sunglasses

Hair colour

Brown

"
I'm Razörfist, God fucking speed!
"
— Razörfist's outro hook he says at the end of his videos.
"
Razörfist - Porn = Human Trafficking
"
— Part of the title for DP Episode 72 & a mathematical equation derived by Ryan Wiley

Razörfist (also known as The Rageaholic, Razörfish, and Justin Keane) is a metrosexual, contrarian hipster and PaulsEgo cosplayer that reviews games, shitty action films, and frequently drones on and on about '80s metal. He hates anything if it's mainstream by any definition, unless it was mainstream prior to 1991. He's the immeasurably less erotic and infinitely crustier clone of AlphaOmegaSin. During his initial appearance, he introduced himself as "special in the helmet sense".[1]

Description

"
...and all those states are bluer than Scotty's balls!
"
— During his appearance on episode 148.
Razörfist's YouTube channel, The Rageaholic, is mostly a review show where he shits on pretty much any popular AAA video game for the most mundane and inconsequential things. He seems to express a distaste for any game that isn't Thief or Deus Ex. He also expresses his love for 80's machismo action films and hair metal. He dresses like an an 80's action movie badass reminiscent of Cobra Cobretti and also has an intense desire to perform fellatio on Snake Pliskin. Above all, he is like that one hipster douche you knew in high school that somehow got all the pussy.

Razörfist makes four types of videos. Video Game reviews, Movie Reviews, Rant Videos (all of which are self explanatory), and a series called Music Mythos. Music Mythos is when Razörfist does a documentary style long form video where he talks about the history and career of a certain Band.

While he mostly has agreeable personal views, let's be honest that he's a completely dumbass in regards to climate change. Razörfist also has a bit an SJW side in that he actually views boobs in video games as exploitative and a bad thing. He has also claimed having 5 minutes of sex scenes in a 35 hour game makes it a "sex simulator". On the flip side, he is actually able to articulate a decent argument against gun control without coming off like a gun-toting maniac, showing he can hold his own in a debate.

There are currently two theories as to why Razörfist wears aviators:

  1. Tranny midget porn is usually filmed in basements, thus, the brightness is increased, hence the glasses.
  2. He is a HUGE PaulsEgo fan

None of these are confirmed as of yet, but we are currently hiring an expert individual to watch all his video situations to come to the conclusion situation.

On Drunken Peasants

"
Razörfist in the House. Razörfist in the DP house.
"
— TJ during episode 295[2]
He is the third guest (and first white male) on the show who became a friend of the Peasants and backpeddled on his shit after getting into a dispute with TJ, similar to the situation with Tim Black. The argument stemmed from a bogus source of information Neil deGrasse Tyson fabricated in an attempt to debunk creationists. The peasants eventually resolved their differences with him and he has been seen as a pretty entertaining guest. Normally, he would labelled a heretic to the Order of The Drunken Peasants for denying climate change, though he's a pretty cool guy so it equals out.

Episode 72

By the time he made his first appearance on episode 72, the two had resolved their differences and admitted that they both could have handled things better. TJ then went on to fist him live on air as a token of friendship. During his first appearance, the peasants played his initial video ranting against TJ, which like any good video trying to dismiss TJ started with a banana joke. In the video, he gives a ton of reasons why he thinks Neil deGrasse Tyson is kind of a douche, including that he's stolen jokes before and even made up statistics on education. Razörfist on the show goes on to give a few examples of Tyson's potentially shady moments though claims he doesn't have much of a dog in the fight. TJ notes that he seemed a lot less confident in his positions since his video.[3]

During the episode, the peasants introduced Razörfist to a video of The Vigilant Christian claiming that WWE Wrestling was satanic by placing Illuminati imagery on C-list wrestlers. The video revealed their mutual love of wrestling that the peasants didn't even know about before his appearance on the show. They later show him a video by Gail Chord Schuler, who escaped on her sentient taco and burrito just a single bean away from destruction, Razörfist was dumbfounded and claimed Gail may have created the convoluted plot of Destiny. Later on in the show, he agreed with Sean Hannity's response to an Islamist that claimed speaking out against Islam in Paris should not be tolerated, following the then recent Charlie Hebdo shootings.

Episode 184

He appeared as a guest once again in episode 184, where he joined the peasants in a gun control debate where he was mercilessly slaughtered by DP. Razörfist then decided to stay on the show during the playing of their other segments.

Episode 295

He was mentioned during episode 295 where he was bragging on Twitter to TJ about how Trump was winning the general election. The peasants eventually brought him on near the end of the show, where they talked about Trump, Clinton, and the election. They also talked about marijuana legalization, gun rights, and general post-election stuff. He even managed to take some jabs at Brett Keane while they were both guests on the show.

Trivia

  • He invented an ugly, sexual sounding word that has no meaning, but sounds dirty: "Clut"
  • His name resembles something you would get from a Swedish hooker for 200 dollars.[4]
  • Ben has made fun of his "Top Gun" sunglasses.[5]
  • He wasn't aware of the Flat Earth theory prior to his first appearance.[6]
  • He finds anime horrifying.
  • His favorite sport is baseball.
  • His favorite teams are the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Pittsburgh Pirates.
  • Escapist Forumfags don't like him and think he sucks. [7]
  • He has a show called Metal Mythos where he interminably drones on about True Kvlt Norwegian black metal from Romania, lipstick-and-hairspray acts and British '70s heavy metal bands your dad likes.  
  • His favorite movie is Cobra.
  • He has a disdain for the Metal Gear Solid, Witcher, Final Fantasy, and most any other game series you probably like.
  • His video game reviews are like Zero Punctuation, except that Yahtzee isn't funny and witty, though Yahtzee's not an egotistical cunt.
  • Razörfist has a distaste for mainstream gaming journalism, with many of his videos actually being about corruption in it.
  • He used to work at a GameStop.
  • He claims to be the cure to bad video games.
  • The first videos he ever made were ones he made for his friends on Myspace.com
  • He was a member of another podcast: Hate-Bit Podcast, with AlphaOmegaSin who was also a guest on the show.
  • Razörfist is the hipster mirror universe version of AlphaOmegaSin.
  • He got the name "Razörfist" from Alice Cooper slurring his words ever so slightly at the end of the song Freedom, the first track of the 1986 Raise Your Fist And Yell! album.
  • His favorite bands/musicians of all time include Accept, Yngwie Malmsteen, Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Danzig, and Motörhead, with Bathory being his uttermost favorite.
  • He hates death metal and grunge.
  • He's a fucking idiot on the topic of gay marriage,[8]  believing that the SCOTUS ruling was illegal, but in his defense, he might just have no clue what the fuck the supreme court does.
  • He's a dumbass birther.
  • He hates our Lord and Savior, Todd Howard, creator of Fallout.
  • The difference between him and porn is human trafficking.
  • He saw this page in July 2015 and got mildly butthurt. However, upon realizing that this wiki is bullshit, he was less upset. [9]
  • He got destroyed by Paul hard enough on guns to make Hiroshima circa late 1945 look like modern Luxembourg.
  • He was present at the L.A. Meetup, however, he was driven there via Pizza delivery man, he was planning on surprising the peasants, (by hiding in a veggie pizza box) but Scotty, in a drug-induced rage, destroyed the pizza, killing him.
  • Has a blog video where he waxes nostalgia for the 1980s after accusing people who like the '90s of wearing nostalgia goggles. It is unknown at present whether or not the irony is lost on him.
  • He is a very clever alpha male.
  • He is extremely handsome.
  • He wrote the last two statements himself.

Quotes

"
You know who had a dick flap, back in the day? Tatanka!
"
— During episode 72.[10]
"
While I’d love to drive the murder Jack Black in his sleep bandwagon, because in the words of William Shakespeare, ‘Ye varily Tenacious D doth fellate many abuldging phallus.
"
— Uhh... What?
"
I seem to remember this looking like something I saw in a hentai once… that I just found of course.
"
— Talking about Anime.
"
If you don’t play Deus Ex, I will kill you. Oh, you think I’m joking? If you don’t play this game, I will make you swallow a pufferfish!
"
— Defending Deus Ex.
"
They're looking for some hanging chads!
"
— Razörfish during episode 295.[11]

Gallery

External Links

References

  1. https://youtu.be/jsAOweVwBBk?t=1m50s
  2. https://youtu.be/uQhB7aXmI1A?t=6h53m30s
  3. https://youtu.be/jsAOweVwBBk?t=11m52s
  4. https://youtu.be/jsAOweVwBBk?t=1m58s
  5. https://youtu.be/jsAOweVwBBk?t=6m30s
  6. https://youtu.be/jsAOweVwBBk?t=17m
  7. http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.380205-Anyone-heard-of-this-guy
  8. https://youtu.be/Nj1v9BWZG3c?t=2m17s
  9. http://tweetsave.com/raz0rfist/status/625185249278889984
  10. https://youtu.be/jsAOweVwBBk?t=38m
  11. https://youtu.be/uQhB7aXmI1A?t=7h3m