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Pimp unplugged.
Pimp unplugged.
Personal Details

Ball of lard


None (atheist)



Birth date

November 28th, 1977

Birth place



A trailer park


Raping Brett Keane's family

Social Networking
Youtube channel












Physical attributes
Eye colour


Hair colour

Brown (but bald as a fucking egg)

You think Jill Stein's got a wet pussy?

— Pimpmunk 2016. [1]

John Edward Crawley is a disgusting goblin with the voice of a sassy black lady who hails from the backwards state of Mississippi, yet resembles something from your most depraved and worst nightmares. He produces videos on YouTube under the handle of Pimpmunk.


John posts atheist YouTube videos on his channel Pimpmunkx while trying (and succeeding) to be as repulsive as possible, providing a very persuasive argument that there is no God or mercy or hope in the universe. Because he is a crude, loudmouth, overweight piece of detestable trash, he easily became a good ally and friend to the Drunken Peasants.

His initial popularity was caused by Jaclyn "Plagiarist" Glenn, however, he, to quote Tommy from the Bronx, earned and kept his subs.

On Drunken Peasants

Pimpmunk has made three guest appearances on Drunken Peasants He first appeared in the special edition The New and Improved Drunken Peasants along with Jim Ass, Creationist Cat, Ben and PaulsEgo. TJ and Scotty were absent coz fuck 'em. Pimpmunk was present during the 200th episode, at the start of which the peasants grilled him for his video destroying Jaclyn Glenn. The peasants had Pimpmunk talk to JF on the issue, who also made a series of videos regarding Jaclyn and her plagiarist ways.

Pimpmunk went to both the 2016 Ohio meetup, and the 2016 LA Meetup, with the peasants. He also attended the Lousiana meetup.

He later appeared in episode 242.

Pimpmunk's next guest appearance was on episode 287, where he, the peasants, and a dominatrix named Juniper Gin discussed the upcoming episode 300 and how he and Paul were gonna get abused by Mistress Gin live. Paul has commented that he's going to go noodlin' for a catfish during his showdown with Pimpmunk and Mr. Repzion on the Wheel of Misfortune

Wheel of Misfortune I

Pimpmunk, along with Paul and Mr. Repzion, appeared on episode 300 as one of Mistress Gin's piggies, where he played a game of Wheel of Misfortune. He ended up losing, although he won 100 dollars snorting grinded up black pepper during the first bonus round. Unlike Repzion, Pimpmunk was given credit for at least giving Paul a run for his money and putting up some form of challenge. Pimpmunk was also the only person on the wheel to accept the special challenges, having accepted to both snort grinded pepper and rub icy hot all over his balls. During the wheel, Paul also revealed that Pimp's got a third nut.

By far the craziest torture he endured was having some hot wax melted on him towards the end. Despite having no chance near the end, he made Paul work for his four-thousand to put on a good show. By the time the wheel had ended, Pimpmunk had endured eighty-eight spankings from the mistress, the least of either two contestants in total.

On Amazing Atheist

On February 2nd, 2016, a video Pimpmunk made, titled "The Rape of Pimpmunk", was featured on TJ's channel.


Jenny's got a cooch you could fit a double-wide trailer in.

— Pimp's take on Jenny McDermott

I don't like pain.

— Pimpmunk to Paul

Fuck the audience!

— Pimpmunk on episode 200.[2]

She's a cunt!

— Pimp's accurate assessment of Jaclyn during episode 200.[3]


  • During episode 193, the peasants revealed Pimpmunk was dumbfounded when Scotty discarded a perfectly good pizza.
  • He's held a fundraiser event for Galen. The hangout featured several people from the DP community, including Ben.
  • He's got "hardwood floors".[4]
  • He has three testicles, as revealed by Paul on episode 300.[5]
  • He has made out with Paul. Drunken Peasants fans believe this to be the third most beautiful thing to ever happen, the second being bananagate, and the first being 9/11.
  • He was also betrayed by Jaclyn Glenn, despite the fact that he was one of the very few who defended her. He has also demonstrated to be a better person than Jaclyn Glenn at every possible turn.
  • He is also good friends with Tommy From The Bronx.
  • He is the head of the Pimpmunk Show, a longer, low key version of the peasants' show, this show Is recognized by most for being the location of Galen's fundraising event. And He is usually accompanied by: Tommy From The Bronx, Shayrah, Sketchy White Dude, and other low lifes.
  • He hates the movie King Ralph, and will get mad if someone brings it up in his livestreams, the reason for this is unknown
  • This sentient mixture of lard and shit has his own wiki. Holy fucking balls.
  • His spirit animal is a catfish.
  • He smokes about 3 and a half packs of cigguras a day.
  • TJ has said that Pimpmunk is uglier than Brett Keane, but people don't notice it because Brett is pure fucking evil and Pimpmunk is cool.




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  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcV_EgffcW4
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUp2LR9-PPI
  3. https://youtu.be/aUp2LR9-PPI?t=11m20s
  4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCGbBMgEbiw
  5. https://youtu.be/ee62b-TMF0U?t=1h34m29s