|Date of Foundation|
Sometime after Communism
|Number of Adherents|
Anarchist in Denial
"It's not my problem or my financial responsibility. The "disabled" can go die in a ditch."— Libertarianism in a nutshell. (This is an actual quote.)
"One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is "Libertarian." People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy."— George Carlin
"The Amazing Atheist? More like... The Amazing STATIST! HA! GOT EM!"— Average libertarian response to TJ.
"Basically everyone agrees with libertarians on something, but they tend to get freaked out just as quickly by the ideology’s other stances."— Seth Masket
Libertarianism (or kleptocracy) is a political ideology which focuses on freedom from the restriction of citizen's rights by the government, and advocates for the rights of anyone to do anything they wish, excluding violent crimes.
The most integral part of Libertarianism is worship of the free market. Libertarians are confident that the free market will end world hunger, cure cancer, provide mansions to everyone who works hard and jerk them off before they go to sleep every night.
Forms of Libertarianism
People who uphold and protect civil liberties. Some of the things that they uphold include the right to privacy, the legal use of recreational drugs, women's rights, gay rights, and the protection from unjust government intrusion or abuse. What makes civil libertarians different from libertarianism itself is that one does not necessarily have to be a libertarian in order to be a civ. libertarian. In fact, its more of a collective of ideas than anything else, so left-wing or right-wing people can call themselves one.
Basically modern libertarians, but somehow even more regressive. The term was coined by Lew Rockwell, and describes someone who (despite being against the war on drugs or the anti-gay laws) are pretty socially conservative. Its worth mentioning that many conspiratards are paleolibertarians, like Alex Jones.
Also known as "Paul-Bots". Paul-tards are the rabid, irrational fans of the politician Ron Paul. Paul-Tards are often seen espousing such thoughtful, intelligent things to say like "muh free market/constitution/Milton Friedman/Austrian School/Axioms" or "Oh yeah? Well you're a STATIST FACIST!"
This term is widely used to refer to anarchists, although some aren't. Left-libertarians often oppose corporate or social hierarchies and the rule of the corporate elite. Thus, they are opposed to capitalism. One famous example of a left-libertarian is Noam Chomskey. It should be noted that many left-libertarians call themselves "Libertarian Socialists", like Cammehyebams. That term may seem contradictory, but both words in the phrase are being used in a different context. The "libertarian" meaning a person advocating total individual freedom through minimizing the role of the government, and the "socialist" meaning seizing the means of production from private interests. A libertarian socialist sees the state as an authoritarian, exploitative institution that the Elite use to control the masses and sees capitalism as a tool for the corporate elite to keep the poor oppressed.
Five Pillars Of Libertarianism
- There is no god except the Free Market, and Ron Paul is the Free Market's Messenger.
- You must subvert the government 5 times a day while facing in the direction of Ron Paul's house.
- Give 40% of your income to the poor and the needy, in order to prove that charity is more effective than government.
- Fasting and self-control on August 20, Ron Paul's birthday.
- Pilgrimage to Pittsburgh at least once in a lifetime if one is able.
- Are you a libertarian and reading this page? Well congrats, you're a fucking hypocrite because the internet was created by THE BIG BAD GUMMIT! Not only that, but the HTML code (the language that most websites use) was developed by CERN (European Organization for Nuclear Research), which is also government funded.
- Despite the fact that a large amount of them pretty much worship Ayn Rand, she is actually critical of Libertarianism.
- The far less extreme and more reasonable version of them are Classic Liberals.