|The Mayonnaise Bitch|
|Thieving Paul's look on episode 200.|
31 (born April 12, 1984)
Bridge of the USS Enterprise
Your friendly-neighborhood satan worshipper
Brown, possibly hazel
I have a direct message for Ashley. Just leave this loser boyfriend of yours. Come with me, let's go to New Mexico and let's start over. As soon as you turn fourteen years old, I'll show you what real sex is.
Dr. Jean-François "J.F." Gariépy is a Canadian-American brain researcher who has been featured on the show multiple times. He holds a doctorate in neuroscience and was formerly a researcher at Duke University. He is also the host of a YouTube show about neuroscience simply entitled, NEURO.tv
He was born in Quebec, Canada, but was exiled when he displayed signs of not being a total douchebag and now resides in France. He claims to live in North Carolina, but that is just a lie crafted to fool TJ. JF has even gone so far to say that he wants to destroy Canada. He is a living kick in the nuts to the French-Canadian stereotype.
JF has appeared multiple times on the Drunken Peasants. He was first featured as a guest in Episode 76 where he faced off against G Man in the Ultimate Creation Showdown of 2015. He is easily one of the most well-received guests that has appeared on the show and is also one of few guests brave enough to ever traverse the lethal shit swamp that was the live chat. He once offered to appear on the show 5,000 times a month, but the peasants thought that it may be overkill. JF has also made a series of videos regarding Jaclyn Glenn's various acts of plagiarism, the series was discussed during episode 200. Episode 200 has, so far, been JF's final appearance, as he explained on his Facebook that he is going through legal issues.
On Drunken Peasants
Then I'd kick him in the balls... they're low hangers I hear.— TJ Kirk talking about JF on Episode 157.
The debate in episode 76 began with JF presenting his viewpoint using a bunch of scientific evidence. G Man rolled with the punches, mostly by just by disregarding everything that JF had. G Man got into a long-winded argument that eventually resulted in him comparing JF to maize. JF ran off in shame and was never seen again.
ԀP hosted Gariépy alongside creationism advocate Brian Young in a debate in episode 95. It was the most structured guest debate held on Drunken Peasants at the time. The debate was, for the most part, scientifically oriented. It essentially illustrated the dichotomy between empirical and religious teleologies. JF presented the scientific refutation of all of Young's points while Scoopy sexually assaulted Ben in the background. Young ended up having some strikingly similar arguments to G Man. The most memorable part of the debate involves Young comparing TJ to a banana.
TJ had stated that JF would be featured in a monthly series of creationism debates. Episode 95 was the first of such debates. Although this plan was later scrapped in favor of having JF make regular guest appearances on occasion. TJ revealed that JF was intended to have debated Kent Hovind, although this was foiled when Hovind later declined the offer to appear on Drunken Peasants.
100th Episode Special
JF returned during the later half of the 100th Episode Special where he met his idol Dusty Smith. He spent most of the episode sucking Dusty's metaphorical cock. Many fans seem to think he was intoxicated during the show and JF was one of few guests to interact directly with the fans in the live chat.
JF then made a reappearance during episode 131 in which he used the powers of scientific knowledge to brutally annihilate the flawed logic of Atheism-is-Unstoppable. He later on talked about how he was impressed with the infallible science and logical consistency demonstrated by Gail Chord Schuler.
After a long hiatus, the coveted JF returned for episode 157. He discussed the beating of a dead kangaroo and how he didn't wish to get further involved in the situation. He later challenged G Man to a rap battle live on the podcast and the peasants agreed to make it happen if possible. JF also played a major role in the episode by teaching TJ how to call Scotty "the egg bitch" in French.
In episode 179, JF's call for a rap battle was answered by the peasants. A formal rap battle was arranged between the two, which resulted in JF kicking G Man's ass with his epic French-Canadian beats. The episode experienced some technical difficulties and the wrong beats were played because G Man dun fucked everything up. It is entirely possible that JF won the battle on the basis of not being G Man.
200th Episode Special
JF appeared in episode 200 and immediately made a pass on AshleysEgo, telling her that Paul is a piece of shit and that JF is the real man. He then debated gTime Johnny about gTime, in which JF got owned like the little word slave bitch he is. He also told Jim Ass that it's not his fault, bringing the Dinoaur-kin to tears.
Tacos is what motivates me every day.— JF reveals what keeps him awesome.
I'm going to drill a new asshole up in this biatch.— JF Preparing for the rap battle against G Man
How does God think?— One of JF's simplest yet most hard hitting quotes.
I don't care about being wrong. All my life I've been told I was wrong about so many things. But at this point I am so sure of myself that I say, "Well, I will advance in life just being convinced about what I gather from the world." And that's how I've been doing my entire life. So I guess that if I was to see God and he was in front of me saying, "You're wrong," I would say, "Well, fuck you!".— JF
The idea that any behavior is free from genetic influences is simply ridiculous. Even when the specifics of the behaviors may seem to have been highly influenced by culture, the brain areas that have learned from culture and that have selected this behavior are adaptations, they have evolved to select that behavior from the plethora of cultural influences that one is exposed to in his life.— JF when asked about a recent study regarding group violence among chimps.
I do not believe in supernatural stuff. For extraterrestrial life, I'm very interested in the question and my book explores part of this issue. I'm interested in the process by which life forms emerge. I have to say that before I wrote this book, I thought the appearance of life was an extremely rare event and I was convinced that the presence of other life forms in the universe was very unlikely.— JF when asked about his take on the supernatural and alien life.
You should be concerned. In fact, one of the species of primates seems on its way to take over the world. It may be too late already. They are so much better than the other primates: they can build roads, universities, and governments, and they know how to ruin the environment, and they don't care about it.— When asked if he was afraid monkeys will take over the world.
JF's Rap to G Man
Do you hear this? Hm... Sounds like the clock of G Man's career ticking. Tick-tick-tick... Tick-tick-tick... Tick-tick-tick... Mwahahahahah! Shout-out to Québec. MIX LA Productions. Quatre, cinq, zéro. Now it's your time G Man. I'll show you how we do it in Canada. Check this out.— JF begins the rap.
Unauthorized representative of the Brett Keane posse
Everything you say follows the laws of thermodynamics
Increasing disorder into the brains of those who believe in magic
You may actually be the first failed YouTube pastor
Your poorly worded rhymes dishonor all of your ancestors
We lived on this planet long before you were even born
Including the single cell that gave birth to you and the corn.
Your threshold for proof goes back and forth too frequently
Like Mercedes Carrera's boobs in her last movie
Your circular theoretical framework is an impasse
'Cause when you hide from the truth, it comes back right up your ass
Suddenly expands, bullshit spurts out like shoelaces
An explosion from which remain no traces
Except your ass is now split in two pieces that hang
Like motherfuckin' space/time right after the Big Bang.
I could download your entire YouTube legacy
Encode it into a self-replicating machine sent to posterity
And as this Von Neumann probe reaches intergalactical space
All the lifeforms in the universe would see your face
An even newer testament for my technological empire
Except for you this time there won't be no savior
Boltzmann brains would pop into existence just to laugh at your shit
And all across the universe, you'd be known as the greatest fuckwit.
The only way you'll ever contribute to scientific knowledge
Is if you let me cut you in thin slices after you're dead
Or I may detain you in a room with just enough food to subsist
Until you acknowledge that at least one starving African child does exist
Or I might lay you flat in a brain scanner
And ask you about this very day, and try to remember
Then your brainwaves may finally allow scientists to elude
How it feels to get owned in your own language by a French white dude.
Just turned you into French cuisine, but expect no reduction of heat. Uh.
I will always be as relentless as I was on this sick, mid-90s beat. Yeah.
The only way to seek cover from my wrathful rhapsody? Hahahahaha!
Would be for you to get adopted as part of Brett Keane's family.
- He was a patron of the show for some time and has appeared in their Google Hangouts.
- He received a Ph.D. on the neural basis of respiratory and locomotor control at the Université de Montréal.
- His areas of expertise include evolutionary biology, cognition, neuroscience, information economics, decision-making and game theory.
- He has revealed over Twitter that he is a puppet of the Illuminati.
- He has resigned from his professor position at Duke University. 
- He did state that he considers himself as feminist, although in the traditional sense (the much less obnoxious variety, who actually contribute to women's rights.)
- He's the smartest man in the world.
- He is the only known guest to ever have been on the Drunken Peasants to not have English as his first language, his first being French. He is however, fluent in both languages.
- He shows an incredible affection for the ԀP fanbase, and was one of the first supporters of the ԀP Wiki.
- His AMA on Reddit, in which he discusses his profession, can be found here.
- He has expressed some interest in debating TrueEmpiricism, proving his immense bravery.
- While he does not believe in the supernatural, he is interested by the idea of extraterrestrial life, a topic which is explored in his book.
- He has a monopoly on the mayonnaise industry.
- His upcoming book, "The Revolutionary Phenotype", is expected to make 1,000,000,000 sales putting it third place in the all time sales list behind Brett Keane's masterpiece, "Eternal Undying Love", and some disgusting pile as asinine dogshit.
- He stole a pair of Paul's aviators and entered the Matrix in preparation for Episode 200.
- He's the only guest to not swoon over Johnny's charm.
- Paul was quoted as saying "his flow is whacker than dog shit", but that his lyrics were good, in response to Creationist Cat's allegation that G Man won the rap battle.
- He is underwhelmed by 50 vine loops in one day.
- Episode 76
- Episode 95
- Episode 100
- Episode 106
- Episode 131
- Episode 157
- Episode 168
- Episode 176
- Episode 179
- Episode 188
- Episode 200
|The G Man Saga|
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