Episode 107

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Episode 107
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Episode
Episode information
Title

Special Guest: Creationist Cat! - A "Hey Scotty" Free-For-All - and More! DPP #107

Date of air

15 April 2015

Hosts
Guest(s)

Creationist Cat

Length

2 hours, 39 minutes, 39 seconds

Debut

Creationist Cat

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Episode 106

The Drunken TJ Podcast

"
I'm making Satan look like a dirty ho.
"
— Part of Creationist Cat's rap.
"
What the fuck is America coming to when you can't even bite off a cat's dick anymore?
"
— TJ Kirk[1]
Episode 107 is an episode of Drunken Peasants. The episode featured the Creationist Cat who reinstated the epic pwnage of TJ and an onslaught of "Hey Scotty" videos finally killed that faggot.

Highlights

Segments

Materials Used

  1. Hey Scotty videos
  2. Troll or Not a Troll- Channeling space emperors.
  3. Jesus Math
  4. G Man's Wager
  5. Breakfast Club Feminist
  6. Obama's Dragon Powers
  7. BDSM is satanic
  8. Republicans are assholes too
  9. Teen Arrested in Jesusland
  10. Uncle Tom Defends the Cops

Start of the Show

The show began with the peasants introducing Creationist Cat to the audience again. TJ seemed infuriated at the very presence of the cat on podcast and desired to set him on fire. Creationist Cat and TJ got into an argument about his power levels. On a Marvel-universe scale, Creationist Cat is roughly a forth of Galactus and wields a quasi-power cosmic. The one caveat is that much of his prayer power needs to be wasted on simply speaking. TJ pointed out that CC's lips do not move when he speaks, to which the cat explained that he actually communes through telepathy. They moved into discussion of TJ being an undeniable Marilyn Manson apologist, taking off from a concept from one of CC's own videos. Unsurprisingly, TJ spent much of the conversation still remaining a massive apologist and justifying CC's comments in the heart of every fan. Creationist Cat then shouted out the wiki to debunk on of our crazy conspiracies about him, making him the sexiest guest featured in DP history.

Being that Scotty was not present on the show, they moved on into some videos starting with a compilation of amazing Hey Scotty, Jesus Man mems. Of of the videos showed a younger version of Scotty that CC believed not to have any pubes. CC played a Hey Scotty he made himself where the approving fist was replaced with a literal middle finger at the audience. They moved into Troll or Not a Troll, which caused Creationist Cat to come into an existential crisis for no obvious reason. When they actually played the video, it was some discount GTime Johnny that was trying to summon demonic space emperors to come make America great again. CC claimed that the vacancy behind his eyes made him legit and that only a Hollywood actor could come off as so genuine.

They moved into another video where some guy tries to use Jesus Christ to become a better mathematician, though Creationist Cat deemed him a troll after noticing that one of the equations on the whiteboard behind him claimed that 15+15=Suck. Creationist Cat freestyle rapped to totally own G Man and made Satan seem like a dirty ho. With that, they moved into one of G Man's videos where he refuted TJ's argument against Pascal's wager by using Pascal's wager.

Middle of the Show

Creationist Cat became the second person in the worlds except for Aids Dank to challenge G man to a rap battle. CC then told a story of how he once took a shit that resembled Ted Cruz.[2] A Feminazi ranted about the DP for not protecting Anita's sacred image during AnitaGate 2015 back when everyone in the world was making a big deal about it and calling Neb creepy for taking a picture of an online celebrity in public. They moved into a video by Armless Shirt Ministries that describes Barack Obama as a Satanic agent, though CC debunked his entire theory by pointing out that he had a shitty beard. After playing the video a bit more, the dude even admitted he didn't have the facts to back anything he was saying up. The peasants pointed out that G Man can never remember the name of Preaching to the Choir Ministries before playing some video about how BDSM is Satanic, which CC luckily pointed out to be false.

They played a video trying to pass of the GOP as more diverse and accepting than it actually is, as if either political part had merit in the United States to begin with. One of the points claimed that Republicans use Macs, which is easily the worst argument made for right-wing politics since the dawn of humanity. The video concluded with the message that Republicans are totally people too. They played a video of some kid with a toy gun that was arrested in Texas after they ran out of Hey Scotty videos to play. Two black dudes got into a huge argument about it live on Fox News and it ended with one of them being thoroughly rekt by the other because one of them wanted to worship the heels of police. The situation was so dire that Sean Hannity had to add his two cents as the voice of reason for once. With that, the peasants decided to take a break while they work on resolving some technical issues.

The banana asking TJ a question.

End of the Show

The peasants later returned for some Q&A, but not before Cheejay and CC got into a verbal brawl. The following questions were asked:

  1. Some guy asked what disease the peasants would eradicate.
  2. Another dude asked what book he should use his free Audible trial on.
  3. Some faggot asked Scotty why he talks so much shit aboot Canada. He asked TJ if he was too ugly to be in porn.
  4. They played a video from a discount DP Wiki admin that asked when we will see a major change in carbon emissions to the atmosphere.
  5. Some dude asked about TJ's opinion on one of Howard Bloom's rather long-winded books.
  6. Creationist Cat had a question of his own and asked how TJ and Howard got to come in contact with eachother.
  7. An attractive English black chick inquired what three people the peasants would have dinner with if they could pick anyone.
  8. Some dude asked what influential American woman would be best to replace Andrew Jackson on the dollar.

Creationist Cat gave some dude a shoutout and with a few more Hey Scotty videos they eventually wrapped up the podcast. They decided to do a Post Show at the last minute.

Quotes

"
Finkle is Einhorn!
"
— TJ during his days as a pet detective.[3]
"
Republicans can read? Holy shit.
"
— TJ during the GOP shilling video.[4]
"
You know it's good when it's connected to a gas station.
"
— TJ's take on finding good tacos.[5]
"
...maybe just burn em' by the stake?
"
— Creationist Cat's philosophy.[6]
"
If you're into pussy, find me on Twitter.
"
— CC[7]

Trivia

  • Creationist Cat does not have the powers of God, he is instead given a reverse of the Lord's own power.
  • CC has a tick that forces him to make the same motions over and over again. It was revealed this is to help recharge his "cat batteries".[8]
  • The peasants realized the sin they committed for allowing Live Chat for this episode. After closing it, Ben reopened it to prove the point that the chat sucks.
  • TJ suggested watching Ace Ventura for the entire show.
  • The Bullet of Truth portion was uploaded on The Amazing Atheist.
  • Creationist Cat shouted out the DP Wiki, giving us our first official mention on the show.

Gallery

References

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPJZVMIG8GA&feature=youtu.be&t=2h10m
  2. https://youtu.be/zPJZVMIG8GA?t=46m50s
  3. https://youtu.be/zPJZVMIG8GA?t=13m25s
  4. https://youtu.be/zPJZVMIG8GA?t=1h37m35s
  5. https://youtu.be/zPJZVMIG8GA?t=1h42m30s
  6. https://youtu.be/zPJZVMIG8GA?t=1h47m20s
  7. https://youtu.be/zPJZVMIG8GA?t=2h32m50s
  8. https://youtu.be/zPJZVMIG8GA?t=7m40s