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DPP 100th Episode! With- PaulsEgo - JaclynGlenn - The Bible Reloaded - CultofDusty - and more!
|Date of air|
March 27, 2015
4 hours, 1 minute, and 28 seconds
Im not racist -in general- but fish-headed people? Fuck em.— TJ reveals his prejudices.
Episode 100 is an episode of the Drunken Peasants and the first special of it's kind. Despite having a lot of effort put into it and the peasants having collected some great guests, the event is widely considered to have been fucking garbage.
It was announced on episode 99 because the peasants are lazy stoners. Ben announced a special segment where he would be fucked lived on camera by John Cena. Unfortunately, this was all a lie. Before the episode was aired, a promotional video was released. DP first discussed the recent French attempt at 9/11 (so cute) and went into detail about the elongated guest list they had planned for the special. This remains as the only promo a DP episode has had, not counting the trailers for Vimeo episodes.
- Masters of Stupidity vs. Drunken Peasants
- Dusty Smith vs. G Man & RanCam
- Guests from all across Drunken Peasants' history.
- Anti-Gay PSA from the 40s.
- TJ dances to the banana song.
- Stupid Ads
- Fan-made Drunken Peasants YTP (not found)
- Blond-haired baby rocking (not found)
- 1950's Anti-Homosexual PSA - Boys Beware
- CSquared - Ass Banana (Drunken Peasants Remix) [Free Download]
- Ode to TheAmazingAtheist
- Phil Robertson's stupid speech (not found)
- Arizona State Senator Says Church Attendance Should Be Mandatory
- 'Feces on the wall' leads to high school bathroom policy
- (Q&A videos)
- Night time mask ad (not found)
- Captain Lou Albano - WGBS Philly 57 "Just Say No" Drugs PSA
- The Willow Curve™ with Chuck Woolery
- Carpet man ad (not found)
The show begins when the peasants get PaulsEgo on the program and talk about TJ's mistrust of Eskimos. The peasants then shilled Paul's latest Twitch streams, which he was doing a lot of at the time. For some ungodly reason, the peasants revived the chatroom for the 100th episode so that the fans could go wild. The peasants discuss the possibility of having The Stallion on the special, though the hosts told Paul they wouldn't want him on. The peasants revealed that the show had over 40 million live viewers, and it was the #1 trend on Twitter. Ben then brought Fish Head on the show because they were obligated to do so, though they ousted him off the program as soon as possible. Fish Head's entire appearance was a roast of his shitty and bland existence.“
G Man loves the G spot. That's where he got his name.— TJ tells the origin of G Man.
TJ then went on a tangent about Dusty's frequent Facebook taking up most of his feed and how he appreciates Dusty speaking his mind, even when they challenge his own sometimes. TJ and Scotty later talk about how one of TJ's most popular uploads was a sponsored video about some fucking cheese. TJ observes that DP is just a bunch of white men which is problematic. Paul suggested they bring a POC and so they decided to get G Man on the podcast. Live from under a bridge, G Man appears on the show and tries to explain the age-old "starving children" argument to Dusty by claiming he only believes there's no such thing as a starving Christian. Paul later asks G Man about his current relationship with Brett Keane, who G Man wasn't getting along with at all during the time. G Man later describes Dusty as a God.
After things settle down, G Man claims he has a rap prepared for Jaclyn Glenn if she has the spine to show up during the special. Dusty, being the white-knight for Jaclyn that he can be, asked G Man how he could possibly have any issue with Jaclyn. In all fairness, this was before she was revealed to a human fax-machine. G Man tries to relate with Dusty through their shared Pentecostal background, to which Dusty apologized that G Man even had to grow up with religion. G Man later tried to take out a fucking megaphone to yell at Dusty, with the peasants having to stop that shit as soon as possible.
G Man then allowed RanCam Campbell to come on the show to debate Dusty, with G having a smug look on his face the entire time despite Ran spouting some of the stupidest, most incoherent babble ever seen in DP history. Ran claims that he wears Dusty on his arm everyday like a tattoo. Ran mentions that he was talking shit about Dusty on Facebook and was pissed that some of his fans had backlash, speaking as if it was something in Dusty's control. Dusty explains that he can't remember Ran worth a shit, likely because he's not memorable enough to leave an impact. After things settled again, Ran asks Dusty why he focuses so much on God when he could be a successful comedian in other areas, to which Dusty responds that religion is the most important topic to him and worth rebuking and that's why he does what he does, not just for the fame. TJ tries to find God by having an aneurysm and fails horribly.
TJ then confronts Dusty about his voice sometimes sounding gay in his video, claiming that he atleast has to be hetero-flexible with a voice like that. Dusty claimed he has never had a gay experience is and probably only about 20% gay, though he would probably let a guy suck his dick. TJ claims he will be the one to suck Dusty's cock and turn him into a full-fledged bisexual. G Man seemed interested in the offer, his body language said no but his eyes were saying yes the whole time. The peasants try to get into G Man's starving children argument again, which nearly resulted in G Man being kicked for using his megaphone. Ran kept asking the peasants to get on their knees, repent, and suck his cock. G Man later asked Ben to take off his mask for some fucking reason. After noticing G Man was uneasy at any sexual comment, Dusty yelled at the Christians not to tell people what to do with their cocks or body in general.
RanCam later told every little detail of his life story, including that his mother killed his own father and then killed another man like her father while he grew up in an orphanage. Ran claims he was later sent to jail for reasons until get got right with God and started preaching the gospel for no clear reasons. The peasants were dumbfounded by his statements and Dusty asked why God would put him through all that shit like the murder of his own father being a good thing because GAWD. Ran couldn't see an issue with the death of his father, as long as it resulted in him being cool with the lord. They got into a conversation with Ran about T-shirts which surely gave Dusty a throbbing boner behind the scenes.
G Man took the center stage and made the same obnoxious arguments you would expect from him and Rancam kept trying to give his two cents by trying to convert the peasants to God on the spot. With that, they finally gave the creationists the boot and moved orn. They had Paul and Dusty on for a while to talk about how vacant their channels have been despite having a lot of potential. Dusty mentioned that his girlfriend inspired him to come on the show for the hundredth episode. They shifted into a 1950s propaganda video that proves that homosexuals are the ultimate evil and equivalent to pedophiles. The PSA features a mid-50's Jimmy Barnes being manipulated about brought to putt-putt games by some dude with a shady moustache. Eventually, the evil Homosexual gave the boy pornography until he was arrested weeks later when he tried to cop some ass. Paul came back halfway through and did his best impression of The Homosexual, who was revealed to have the disease known as homosexuality.“
TJ's fat and his titties jiggle. Let's go down and play a fiddle.— TJ Kirk.
They had TJ dance to the banana song live and it was a success that proved TJ was getting drunk as fuck. Dusty and the peasants talked about how TJ now embraces his banana incident. They tried and failed to get Jaclyn Glenn on the show again, which would never come to be on this episode. Ben said that TJ's duties for the show involve going to Wendy's before every podcast and not much else. Dusty talked about a debacle he got into about a fried chicken joke that somehow got him banned from Facebook. They played a video by Remarkable Republican making some shitty poem about how he hates TJ but watches his shit anyway.
Dusty, if your channel had to go head-to-head with The Bible Reloaded, who would win?— TJ takes a look into the future.
After they get Hugo & Jake on the show, they just shoot the shit for a while and formally introduce TBR to Dusty. The peasants decide that Hugo is superior to Jake because of his double-chin. Dusty admits he has heard good things despite having never seen their shit and later offered to do a Chick Tract with them on their channel. Ben revealed that Dusty himself once handed out Chick Tract's while he was part of a Christian youth-group. The peasants then realize that Jake was probably DDOS'd early during his appearance, leaving Hugo as the sole representative of TBR. The peasants opened a poll for who the audience would rather fuck; Hugo, Jake, or Dusty with options to fuck their front or back. They tried to play a few news stories but realized they were way too drunk to focus on them. TJ claimed that he wants to cut in front of line during the 2015 Europe Trip and say it's okay because he's an American. Ben described TJ's idea as genuinely fucked up when he said he wanted to bring up the American Revolution. TJ concluded he would probably wake up in a British jail the next day about to be beaten by a bunch of soccer hooligans. They managed to get Paul back on the show for a while and suggested he get a VPN. Paul commented that he last felt like stabbing himself in the face that morning when he woke up and saw his own face. They lost Paul again and tried to call Jake a second time, where the peasants had a chance to ask why the two are in separate locations, which triggered Hugo to make a joke about One Direction breaking up that was pretty outdated even during this episode's airing.
They proceeded to move into some Q&A:
- Some chick asked why the peasants think people are so uptight about sexuality.
- Ben had a question of his own when he asked the other peasants about the idea of a colonoscopy.
- Another female fan asked about a Feminist group that was pro-abortion.
Ben wants to fuck a toaster.— Scotty
The peasants went on several tangents including which animal they would fuck if they had too, and Dusty said it would be a horse because they resemble Kim Kardashian. They briefly talked about episode 76 and Howard Bloom's recently pro-Israel stint. With that they transitioned into a Stupid Ad, though encountered Jean-François Gariépy halfway through that had a massive fanboy boner for Dusty. They talked a bit more in detail about his debate with Brian Young. A member of the chatroom suggested that JF duke it out with Barack Obama on the political stage to decide the fate of America. JF went on to talk about how sexy he felt all of the peasants were and asked Ben the circumstances where he would remove his mask. They moved back into the commercials:
- Captain Lou Albano: "When you do drugs, you go to Hell before you die."
- The Willow Curve - Some shit you put on your balls to make smoother.
- Carpet Man - A local ad promoting kids to go in school and not work on fixing carpets, it was the best thing ever.
JF got into a discussion with the peasants about education in America and the bullshit hoops and debt that everyone has to go through to get anywhere. TJ concluded he was way too drunk to have such a philosophical and hard to answer conversation. The peasants got into a heated discussion about Star Trek, which we all know how much Dusty loves that show. Scotty talked about his edgy origin story and Ben suggested he finally be banned from the show. The situation escalated to much that TJ was forced to use his redneck voice, that somehow turned into something that was more akin to GradeAUnderA.
They talked about Scotty's Canadian girlfriend and his girlfriend's hipster sock. They played a video about an app that helps keep you away from the devil by installing scripture into your brain. JF talks about what he would ask God if he had the opportunity. TJ suggested an animated series where Dusty and TJ bicker like an old housewife, but the twist is that one of them is a vampire and the other is a werewolf. TJ compared JF to Drunken Peasants' version of Kramer from Seinfeld and later said his voice was sexy and heavenly. They played another commercial about some robot from the 1950s that wants to harvest your soul. Ben asked Dusty if he would fuck it and he said yes, which caused a huge debate about fucking robots among everyone on the panel. TJ then beat the fuck out of Ben and Scotty live on DP, but they came back to life just in time to wrap up the show. They thanked the guests and had them shill their stuff a bit, including a final question from JF to Dusty in how he guides his moral life.
If only employers would let their employees do cocaine. Productivity would go through the fucking roof.— Ben's plan to make America great again.
You sound like a Kenyanist to me!— Ben talking to PaulsEgo.
Paul, you could be the biggest YouTuber of all time. You could be making millions.— TJ gives Paul verbal fellatio during the show.
- TJ: Fuck you, Fishead
- Ben: Yeah, fuck you man.
- TJ: Who even likes you, buddy?
- Fish Head: Well, I guess I know where we stand.— The peasants nearly minutes after his introduction.
What are you doing, Paul? You're wrecking my country already.— Fish Head reaches enlightenment that he is a punching bag.
..maybe put on a dress or something!— RanCam telling TJ to dress up for his amusement.
We're not interested, bro.— Ben responds to Ran's offer to buy his shirts.
You've gotta be at least hetero-flexible.— TJ talking to Dusty.
You would actually entertain homosexual sex, Dusty?— RanCam.
What do I gotta do to get you to take off that mask?— G Man talking to Neb.
I built a fucking effigy of Dusty and I burned it to the ground and I was like "Fuck this!"— Ben's take on Dusty.
People have already seen your goods! We're like a mystery box.— Hugo talking to TJ.
That's Ben's pre-teen sexslave dungeon.— TJ talks about the room behind him.
Dusty's pretty sexy.— JF
- It holds the record for most guests in one episode.
- It's the third longest episode aired to date (episode 28 and episode 295 having a longer runtime).
- When questioned about Admiral Ackbar, TJ could only think of traps from porn.
- The show was hampered by Paul's Ego and Jake being DDoSed by cunty bitches. After the show, the peasants tracked these individuals down in order to crucify them.
- Ben was giving TJ a footjob for the duration of the show, which is why TJ was breathing so heavily.
- It was intended to feature Mr. Repzion & Jaclyn Glenn, but they were too busy masturbating in his bathroom to German shit porn.
- The episode is so far the one with the most guest out of all the episodes.
- This is notably the first time TBR would directly work with Dusty.
- The show had over 40 million live viewers, and it was the #1 trend on Twitter worldwide for 6 months after the show.
- TJ has gotten a colonoscopy from people on Craigslist.
|The G Man Saga|
20 • 21 • 23 • 25 • 27 • 30 • 31 • 44 • 105 • 107 • 117 • 118 • 123 • 126 • 135 • 140 • 160 • 231 • 267 • 279 • 283
|The Dusty Smith Saga|