United Kingdom

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The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Leprechaunistan
"God save the Pan!"
"God save the Pan!"
All that remains of the British Empire.
All that remains of the British Empire.
  • Queen: Elizabeth II
  • Prime Minister: Theresa May

Constitutional communist monarchy



"Every country in this union is here by its own volition, we promise. *wink*"


Pound sterling (£)


65.14 million





Capital city


I would burn this if we weren't inside!
— TJ after being mailed a British flag on episode 190.[1]

The United Kingdom, also known simply as the UK or Great Britain, is a country of metrosexual hipsters located in northwestern Europe. The United Kingdom's capital is Pandon, also known as Londonistan. The whole country is ruled by a saggy-faced cunt controlling her pet monkey. The UK is comprised primarily of England, which is joined in a union with the leeches known as Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. The Conservatives are currently the dominant political power in Britain, who are about as conservative (in U.S terms) as Bernie Sanders.

The United Kingdom is ridden with terrible things like universal health care.


The Romans ruled for several centuries until they became quivering pussies and withdrew their armies from Britain. For several centuries following, England was invaded by everyone imaginable: Swedes, Danes, Germans - hell, even the Frenchies got in on that action. England was basically Europe's cum dumpster. Many of these invaders settled in England and tried to teach them to stop being pussies, and it worked (until the late 20th century).

However, during the 20th century, the English people realized that they were worthless dickholes and therefore were not fit to rule anyone. The Brits actually managed to sum up a spine and leave the European Union, though the former pig-porking Prime Minister was only replaced by a woman who claims to herald social justice for the United Kingdom.[2]

On Drunken Peasants

The peasants often poke fun at the Brits during the show, being that there's so much material for it. They have had several guests who are from the UK including: Sargon of Akkad, TheRPGMinx, and Thunderf00t. Paul's Ego has a longstanding feud with the entire British population over the definition of "flapjack".

The country was one of the destination of the peasants during the Europe Trip and one of two locations for their meetups with fans. TJ once claimed he would try to usurp the British throne during his visit, but he pussied out. During episode 190, the peasants opened up some mail from a British fan who sent them a Union Jack. TJ said he would burn the flag if they weren't indoors. TJ revealed that they were also sent British "flapjacks" and Paul was horrified.[3] On Episode 191, The peasants discussed ISIS threatening London with a "dirty bomb."


They play a lot of soccer, which honestly is a shitty sport. It really is. You're not poor, stop playing a sport designed for people who can't afford equipment for an actually interesting game. Soccer's for those massive-assed wetbacks down in Brazil. They also play a shitty ripoff of good 'ol Murican Baseball called Cricket. It's named after a cheap phone service and the game makes absolutely no sense.

A prominent city in the UK is Birminghamistan. It is comprised entirely of Muslims and white people are slaughtered there on a daily basis in the city's many "no-go zones".


  • England - The chief slave-driver in charge of the United Kingdom. It is best known for being extremely evil and oppressive. They are pretty much the only ones with any say in the United Kingdom, it's sister nations being along on the ever declining ride. It's current leader shagged a dead pig.
  • Scotland - A degenerate nation of alcoholic butt pirates co-ruled by the Loch Ness Monster and Kaiser Scotty.
  • Wales - A small, unimportant country within the United Kingdom located within on the British Isles. While the scenery is astounding, unfortunately the same cannot be said for the people.
  • Northern Ireland - It's shit, just like the rest of Ireland.

People from the UK


'Ello Govna!
— This is Britishese for "Hello, how are you?"


  • Being that Wales is the least religious country in the UK. Richard Dawkins has offered nation-wide fellatio.
  • Not surprisingly, America's bad haircut is still a commonwealth of the UK.
  • Ireland was once a member of the UK, however they threw a shit fit after the English killed some rebels of theirs and left.
  • The national sport involves sodomizing newborn goats.
  • They are reverent towards Muhammad, so long as you display reverence by getting fucked in the ass.
  • They pronounce the letter "z" like "zed". Why can't they just talk normal?
  • The United Kingdom was formed after a massive orgy among the populations of England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland.
  • The Scottish word for Brazilian women whose breasts and buttocks account for 90% of their body weight is, "sheep." This has generated considerable confusion in the past.
  • TJ doesn't like the Brits because he's a piece of filth.
  • Fantastic individuals have hailed from the UK, such as Gorilla199.
  • British also drink tea. A lot of tea. All day, Everyday. Their teeth are mushy, crooked, and yellow as a result.
  • Despite relying on them for pretty much anything, Wales has England blocked on Twitter. England has since declared itself the winner.



  1. https://youtu.be/Pf2eBI7qYQc?t=1h16m10s
  2. http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/13/europe/theresa-may-david-cameron-british-prime-minister/
  3. https://youtu.be/Pf2eBI7qYQc?t=1h16m10s