Democratic Party

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Dirty Communist
The Democratic logo, because all Democrats want the D
The Democratic logo, because all Democrats want the D
Details
Founder

Baraq Hussein Obama Bin Laden

Leader

Hillary Clinton

Beliefs

Sodomize America

Number of Adherents

The Northeast and west

Demonym

Dirty Anti-American Fuckbucket

"
How does your student loan debt make you feel? Tell us in 3 emojis or less.
"
— A real tweet from Hillary showing the party at it's worst.[1]
Not to be confused with that other party.

You know that one uncle that tries to be fun and quirky on the outside, but you know would steal the twenty dollar bill off your nightstand to buy some crack and eat your puppy when you aren't looking?

The Democratic Party is the shattered remains of what was once a political party. In theory, the Democrats are supposed be the more left-leaning choice between the shit shmorgishborg that is the two-party political system in the United States. However, the party long ago sold out any sense of social progress or economic principle in favor of becoming another party for the corporations. The main difference between Democrats and Republicans is that most of the GOP are at least transparently evil.

Hard-right conservatives would have you believe that the Democrats are perfect example of socialist values that just want to destroy god-fearing Americans,[2] even though they rejected the only reasonable candidate in the 2016 Presidential Election for a puppet of Goldman Sachs. It is a requirement for all Democrats to vote at least 30 times in every election. The Czar of the Democratic Party was once Baraq Hussein Bin Laden Obama.

History

Originally, the Founding Fathers intended for their to be only one politician party- the Republicans. However, when George Washington died fighting the Great T-Rex War in space, the Democrats were founded as a pro-slavery party to combat Abraham Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation.

From that day forward, the Democrats have supported slavery as an official platform. Over in Europe, Karl Marx invented Communism which too was added to the Democratic Party's platform. The rise of the Democratic Party came at the beginning of the Hippie Movement and desegregation.

Notable Democrats

Free Pandering

If you are:

Trivia

  • Their entire political platform these days is fear-mongering.

References

  1. http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/hillary-clintons-attempt-use-emoji-backfires
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxfMUEf9otQ
  3. http://www.politico.com/story/2016/11/independent-bernie-sanders-democratic-leadership-231486