Creationist Cat

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Creationist Cat
"The cat knows where it's at, Ben." - TJ Kirk
"The cat knows where it's at, Ben." - TJ Kirk
Personal Details
Profession
  • Televanglist
  • YouTuber
  • Herald of the Lord
Religion

Christianity

Ideology

Creationism

Groups

Creationist Cat Ministries

Age

Virtually Immortal (19,000 lives)

Birth place

United States

Residence

United States

Status

Making DP his bitches

Social Networking
Youtube channel

Creationist Cat

Facebook

Creationist Cat

Twitter

Creationist Cat

Patreon

Creationist Cat

Physical attributes
Eye colour

Lime green

Hair colour

Calico fur

If God really is everywhere then I feel sorry for the part of him dat's up our butts.

— Creationist Cat[1]

Creationist Cat, The Lord's Chosen Cat, is a real talking housecat that was zapped by God through the internet, giving him the knowledge to battle the evils of atheism and science worship with cold, hard, feline logic. Following the zapping, CC began to run a criminally under-subscribed YouTube channel. On which he lovingly refers to his viewers as "sodomites", and encourages them to the links in the description which he has dubbed 'Da Christ Box'. He allows mortals he likes to refer to him simply as CC.

Creationist Cat has worked with several YouTubers, even managing to get along with the vile sodomites on Drunken Peasants. In addition, CC has done interviews with Jaclyn Glenn, and Anthony Fantano and has done a few guest appearances with The Bible Reloaded. He owns also a hideous human slave by the name of Vadim Newquist (as allowed by scripture), who some people have accused of being CC himself. Most of these poor souls were mysteriously mowed down by hordes of rabid bulls wearing spiked strap-ons, seemingly in some form of divine intervention.

On Drunken Peasants

Five of CC's videos have been featured on Drunken Peasants which were well-received by the audience so much that he earned a guest spot in one episode shortly after his third appearance.

Episode 84

During the Q&A segment of episode 84, a question from Creationist Cat was played during the Q&A segment. The peasants were unaware that they were in the presence of the Lord's chosen cat. Ben accused CC's story of being "Church Of Gail shit", the peasants somehow got into a divisive argument about tacos during the video. Despite this, when CC asked if TJ renounced da religion of atheism, TJ, Ben, and Scotty all agreed with him and became creationists.

Episode 97

Five of CC's videos have been featured on the Drunken Peasants which were well-received by the audience so much that he earned a guest spot in one episode shortly after his third appearance. The Drunken Peasants featured CC exposing The Vigilant Christian as the dirty fucking Satanist he truly is in the episode 97, using the same technique TVC uses to expose the proposed satanic Illuminati agenda in the entertainment industry.[2]

Despite enjoying his video, TJ ordered that the cat should be executed. CC's video was then taken down and flagged for "bullying" (and numerous mirrors of the video put up by other channels ensued). His video was later put up again after TVC stated that flagging the video was a violation of Freedom of Speech.

Episode 106

He made his second appearance in episode 106 that featured him pwning the TJ by attacking his most beloved hero, Marilyn Manson. TJ had defended Manson's strange performance on The Talking Dead on his vlog channel and CC proceeded to defeat the reasons TJ posed for Manson's incoherent babbling. This actually affected TJ personally to the delight of Ben and Scotty who wanted to get CC on the show when seeing this video.[3]

Rap Battles

CC made his 3rd appearance on the 107th episode as a guest. He murdered TJ and challenged G Man to a rap battle. On April 27th, 2015 G Man confirmed the rap battle and that it will happen on the Drunken Peasants. There was a legendary rap battle on the 121st episode where Creationist Cat completely owned G Man so much that he got 70% of the votes. G Man, however, refused to believe that he lost, and accused the voters of bias. CC's divinity was even challenged by G Man, who claimed that he was never zapped by God.

Fundraiser with G Man

BeyondPhere's drawing of G Man and Creationist Cat.

Creationist Cat, and G Man decided to host a live charity event to raise money to cure triple AIDS. They tried to destroy AIDS with a super prayer, because G Man's prayers are 100% successful. However, it didn't work. G Man blamed CC for its failure because CC was talking about blasphemous stuff like the Virgin Mary's breasts.

This feud eventually lead to them officially scheduling a rap battle on June 19th, 2015 on the podcast. During the rap battle, Gman admitted to stealing and sleeping with Creationist Cat's mom, leading the Drunken Peasants to conclude that Gman is likely his father.  After the podcast, a vote was held and CC won by 70%.

On Amazing Atheist

The lords chosen cat did a guest video on the TJ's channel, where he showed the world the extent of Dawah Man's stupidity.

On Hugo & Jake

CC has appeared as a guest on two Chick Tract reading videos on Hugo and Jake's Bible Reloaded channel. CC also made a guest video about the war on Christmas, and one of his videos was mirrored on their channel.

Quotes

Here, he is enticing you to smoke a big fat doobie.

— Creationist Cat speaking the truth about the Vigilant Christian's hand gestures

Miracle Whip IS NOT miraculous! Stop worshiping false idols people, especially if they come in a jar.

Creationist Cat: Do you hereby renounce da religion of atheism?
TJ: Yes
Scotty: Yes
Ben: Sure
— CC converts the Peasants into Christianity[4]

I'm young, single, and ready to ChristianMingle™[5]

Da Christ Box!

What is my body type? Oh, definitely washboard.[6]

If God wanted your baby dead, he'd just kill it himself![7]

I consumed a can of tuna, laced with catnip and PCP...[8]

Wow, you just made Peter Dinklage twirl around in your eyes![9]

Halloween is a pagan-sodomite whore-fest of a holiday but if I did celebrate it I'd probably go as a sexy nurse...[10]

Thank god Jesus didn't have big boobs, I wouldn't be able to concentrate.[11]

It's da freaking vaccines in your cats dat are causing dem to crap outside da litterbox, wake up America!!![12]

CC explains why you're going to hell.

Da second amendment should apply to cats too, I mean do you really think we'd be so skittish if we each had a gun???[13]

Da reason why dare are so few atheists in our prison systems is because they all escape with da help of their satanic science magic.[14]

Science is a Satanic left-wing conspiracy to brainwash people into believing things they have evidence for.[15]

And Satan so hated the world that he gave it Smosh...[16]

I just realized dat "Take Me To Church" song is about gay dudes & da butt sex... Are there gay-butt-sex churches out dare now? I hope not.[17]

Hey guys, just because of my species doesn't mean I agree with everything in the CATechism of da CATholic church.[18]

Pat Robertson showed up to church yesterday wearing da same oversized Pharell hat as me. I was mortified.[19]

Do NOT tax churches like regular businesses, God can't afford it![20]

Creationism Should be taught in public schools.

People, there are dark evil internet forces that are teaming up with luciferian secret societies to establish supremacy through mind control, and a perfect example is chemtrails.[21]

Legislators, please give us someone else to discriminate against!

— CC's speech after the tragedy of 6/26

No, it only seems dat way because blacks have very bad luck. Dats why day always die first in da movies, because day just have really bad luck. Come on, everybody knows dish, dats why it's bad luck to let one cross your path...[22]

I use a My Little Kitty Fleshlight, thank you very much...[23]

Songs

A Bunch of Things That Jesus Can Do

A Bunch Of Things That Jesus Can Do is a song by Creationist Cat during his rap battle with G Man in episode 121. In episode 179, CC played a video of it, though couldn't play the audio. He then tried to rap it from memory, but failed horribly.

In his second appearance in one of The Bible Reloaded's Chick Tract riffs, CC had a preview of the professional version played at the end.

Here's a bunch of things that Jesus can do.

He can turn into me.

He can turn into you.

He can get you front row seats to Montley Crue.

He can turn Muhammad into a Jew.

He can do back flips on a crucifix, kill a whole army with just one brick.

If he was gay, he'd suck a great dick and even urinate while he takes a shit.

He can rape Godzilla in Japan, sodomize himself with a frying pan, remake Rush Hour with Jackie Chan and fart in the face of my homie, G Man.

His phone's never busy when he takes a call, always wins when he gets in a brawl, fucks big booty bitches in bathroom stalls.

Stuffs G Man's face with his holy balls.

Peace.

Trivia

Magnificent art of CC being zapped by God, drawn by Todd Horvath.
  • He is the only person cat to ever defeat Matt Dillahunty in a debate.
  • During a Creationist Cat chat episode, Darkmatter2525, the guest, disrespected CC and promptly got sent to Hell. Darkmatter was never heard from again, while CC stayed at Darkmatter's house in order to mark his new territory.
  • According to Scotty, Creationist Cat once belonged to TJ before being zapped by god. CC claimed on The New and Improved Drunken Peasants that this wasn't true.
  • TVC has condemned the false-flagging of a video in which CC mocks The Vigilant Christian.[24]
  • Cult of Dusty is planning to do a crossover with him.[25]
  • He has said that, although many scientists have gone to hell, nobody has been able to fix the air conditioner down there, and nobody ever will be able to.[26]
  • He read this article on Episode 107. He protested to being affiliated with the Muslim Brotherhood and claimed that he was actually a shepherd of the lord working for the Christian Brotherhood. [27]
  • Creationist Cat was called out by G Man on air in Episode 115.[28]
  • He is a member of the Illuminati, and wants to keep that under raps.[29]
  • Creationist Cat sometimes distributes free "Get out of Hell" cards, demonstrating his generosity.[30]
  • Creationist Cat is a felinist[31][32][33], which explains how he became a cat supremacist.[34][35][36]
  • All cats are Christians, according to him.[37]
  • He claims that cats can scratch their faces very quickly because of Jesus Power.[38]
  • He is against abortion in most cases, and the cases where abortion is a must, humans have to eat the fetus, according to him.[39]
  • He says gTime Johnny actually makes total sense to cats.
  • He has a crush on Joel Osteen.[40]
  • CC has done a hangout with the Bible Reloaded for only Patreon guests of their channels.[41]
  • One of CC's videos was played on some show on Comedy Central.
  • CC's slave Vadim mistakenly referred to CC as "her" on the Drunken Peasants podcast, leading to rumors that Creationist Cat may be transgender.
  • CC once took a shit that resembled Ted Cruz.[42]
  • Paul is glad that he is neutered.[43]

Gallery

Videos

A Chick Tract With Creationist Cat
Drunken Peasants Watch Creationist Cat Videos!
Creationist Cat theme played by The Bicycling Guitarist
Creationist Cat is Hell Bound?!
CC freakin' pwns Matt Dillacunty
Creationist Cat Rap Remix

Appearances

Sagas

AtheistRooSaga.png The Atheist Roo Saga
RooKKK.png
Challengers

Canadian AtheistCreationist Cat & Vadim NewquistDrunken PeasantsG ManJaclyn GlennKraut and TeaKyle KulinskiMr. RepzionTim BlackThe Outspoken RealistUzalu

Episodes

125127151152155157198199292299301

GmanSaga.png The G Man Saga
GManStarvingChild.png
Challengers

CultOfDustyThunderf00tJaclyn GlennJean-François GariépyCreationist Cat

Music

Atheist OwnedAtheists Pwned

Episodes

2021232527303144105107117118123126135140160231267279283
Guest: 282934363943697694100115121148176179201
Religion DebateReligion Debate 2

TheVigilantChristianSaga.png The Vigilant Christian Saga
MarioYoga.png
Challengers

Drunken PeasantsCreationist Cat Vegan Gains

Episodes

273335373840414446475160646771929497113120124125130135137143145147149154158160The New and Improved Drunken Peasants
Guest: 148150

References

  1. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/588120193647411200 | Archive link: http://archive.is/fqAZR
  2. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMEsYISKV-M
  3. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnn9o9nhd68
  4. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/vBuxXbEe0KQ?t=1m30s
  5. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/GQIeJCz0Wrs?t=8s
  6. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/GQIeJCz0Wrs?t=24s
  7. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=465Lq3yPRCA
  8. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/Ogdmf0g86-o?t=1m3s
  9. YouTube link: https://youtu.be/Ogdmf0g86-o?t=1m37s
  10. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/124173308647325696 | Archive link: http://archive.is/nCD2r
  11. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/490994247395733504 | Archive link: http://archive.is/Xe18T
  12. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/562808507515543555 | Archive link: http://archive.is/Jxf6x
  13. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/500813928461791233 | Archive link: http://archive.is/E6IPT
  14. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/469189094531428352 | Archive link: http://archive.is/IhYXm
  15. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/468440570210557954 | Archive link: http://archive.is/00mdE
  16. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/496795451359002624 | Archive link: http://archive.is/eesPd
  17. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/549650402929807361 | Archive link: http://archive.is/0qj0b
  18. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/458305878538469376 | Archive link: http://archive.is/BcqZI
  19. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/457410096965103616 | Archive link: http://archive.is/qIhWA
  20. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/491057506291310592 | Archive link: http://archive.is/srlXq
  21. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83Ax4yncDbc
  22. Screenshot: http://imgur.com/AWmk24y
  23. Screenshot: http://imgur.com/slgqoNE
  24. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy3ZsfLA4qQ
  25. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7S2NeUdaTg
  26. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/472033674335371264 | Archive link: http://archive.is/nUmS2
  27. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPJZVMIG8GA
  28. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=356Vlk_PMkI
  29. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/598537259575582720 | Archive link: http://archive.is/6M49I
  30. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/573650609687105536 | Archive link: http://archive.is/KGOyG
  31. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/ufailowell/status/593803776428888064 | Archive link: http://archive.is/WdM3r
  32. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/534055355308068864 | Archive link: http://archive.is/du8hx
  33. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/603945610887200768 | Archive link: http://archive.is/ndj4q
  34. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/602712169466167296 | Archive link: http://archive.is/djiED
  35. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/576079437747212288 | Archive link: http://archive.is/pWs6h
  36. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/575309065926144000 | Archive link: http://archive.is/KiXvY
  37. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/574592789268291584 | Archive link: http://archive.is/iUNCG
  38. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/522901534351560704 | Archive link: http://archive.is/6BWBz
  39. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/504888624501235712 | Archive link: http://archive.is/3ToYn
  40. Twitter link: https://twitter.com/creationistcat/status/523859097226326018 | Archive link: http://archive.is/knm0Z
  41. YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phlIZCHtFWs
  42. https://youtu.be/zPJZVMIG8GA?t=46m50s
  43. https://youtu.be/aUp2LR9-PPI?t=36m10s