|"Hey kid, wanna get in my van?"|
Masters of Stupidity (formerly)
No one cares
Deus Vult, bitch!— Chris Anderson twenty-four hours before cancelling his declaration of holy crusade.
C-C-C-Chris Anderson (formerly FakeSagan, HardCaseOwnsYou, and lastly TheSmoothTerrorist) is a former atheist YouTuber turned Christian who has a long history with TJ Kirk, having made videos responding to him all the way back in 2007. He is officially the new Cringelord of the Dead Airspace, a title formerly held by Egghead. He has occasionally been mentioned on the Drunken Peasants, most often in a negative sense for having turned into a gullible cunt. FakeSagan has self-described himself "before Christ" as a being a rotten son of a bitch, womanizer, and a violent man that has brutally tortured men and women.  He resembles an Irishman after several centuries of intentional inbreeding.“
You look like someone who fingerbangs twelve-year-old girls in the back of a panel van.— Paul responding to Chris on episode 305.
He was once a part of the atheist community of YouTube before that money train ran dry and only the talented where able to adapt. FakeSagan is an example more comparable to Brett Keane, someone that lost their way and still manages to be around the website despite announcing they'll leave every few weeks. Despite once being a die-hard atheist, he is now "reformed" into a Christian stupid enough to accept Keane's every word because he placed his hand on The Bible.
Back when Free Speech Vids was in the works, TJ, FakeSagan, Galen, Holly, and Ocean (FakeSagan's girlfriend at the time,) did a livestream on blog.tv to raise money for it. After shots of EverClear and other drinks, Anderson's true colors were revealed. In full-on money whore mode, TJ berated anyone who donated under $5, while Sagan proceeded to go on drunken ramblings telling people to give them money, even going as far as threatening to shoot himself in the head live on stream if $150 wasn't donated.
He even made out with TJ during it. He then proceeded to threaten everybody at gun point, and even at one point tried to pick a fight with TJ because he coughed during Sagan's money whore-infused sob story. He later cut himself and almost fainted. For the rest of the stream, they tried to get an ambulance for him. They were banned from blog.tv while streaming after these incidents occurred. They discussed the debacle on Private Show #1.
The Final Jesus
His conversion to Christianity was covered in episode 234, where his arguments for God were dismissed as simply being a variation of the "God of the Gaps" argument, being that he claims to have converted for little more than the fact that science hasn't discovered everything about consciousness yet. The DP crew also commented on how boring and unwatchable FakeSagan is now, and how cowardly he appears for being afraid of people finding his address, contrary to the "tough as nails" image he once exhibited on YouTube.
Remember this is the same guy who would threaten to fight people in boxing matches and threaten to blow his brains out on air for e-money, and bragged he was a graverobber. On the post show, TJ talked about Case's constant changing of ideology (for the record, he's been a Communist, a Democrat, a Green, a Libertarian, an Anarchist, a Futurist and is now a Christian Monarchist), and speculated that he will eventually become a Muslim.
On November 20th, 2016, FakeSagan uploaded a video onto his channel about how he was retiring from making YouTube videos, 10 years after he first started it. Many classic Christian and atheist YouTubers made videos talking about this, including Tommy From The Bronx and Brett Keane. TommyFromTheBronx was reluctant to see him leave YouTube and asked him to consider staying. He went on to give a number of positives FakeSagan had during his heyday and a desire to revive his pwnage videos.  Brett made a similar video asking him to stay, except instead of being heartfelt it came across as a bunch of hollow words.
During episode 301, the peasants played his farewell video, during which he himself compared the end of his own channel to the end of Neon Genesis Evangelion, even though was more akin to a wet fart in a crowded movie theater.
Hideous, just hideous.
He later decided to do an interview of Brett Keane where he asked about some serious topics like his plagarism, wife-beating accusations, soliciting money from people over YouTube, and other shit. However, he accepted everything the manatee said as fact, all because he swore his flipper onto the Bible at the start of the Google Hangout. The entire interview was more akin to the two verbally jerking eachother off for how far they've come even though they're just as big of scumfucks as before. TJ mentioned the absurdity of the situation during a Novevember 25th, 2016 edition of Highdeas. Brett Keane later did an interview of him that was much of the same except with even more softball questions. Following these interviews, Chris briefly became a dedicated ballwasher of Brett Keane and as a result became hostile against the peasants. He later led his voice acting "talents" to Brett Keane in a pseudo-interview where he played the role of Scotty Kirk stuttering like a madman (again, projection) which was later eviscerated on the podcast.
Pwnage by Paul
During episode 305, the peasants gave full control of the show's pacing to PaulsEgo for a segment responding to a video by Chris in which he attempts to relive his old pwnage days by making a video on Paul. Half the video was unwatchable and the introduction was over ten minutes of him harping on his new buddy Brett Keane and how much better he is now that he is a Christian. When Chris finally started to talk about Paul, it consisted mostly of a bunch of disingenuous bullshit like claiming that Paul has never smoked cigarettes and only vapes to appeal to the youth as part of some mid-life crisis hypothesis, which is largely projection when you look how Chris is a simpering faggot that's own mid-life crisis consists of joining Brett Keane's island of misfit toys. Anderson went on to claim that Paul was a terrible person for having the people that robbed him at gunpoint back in the day arrested (seriously).“
One of the little boogers that clings to the manatee's mustache! I hope you're ready to be brushed aside, Chris!— PaulsEgo
Case also finally showed a picture of himself in modern day, visibly dressed like a pedophile (seen above) from the 70's and claimed that he looked cooler than Paul. Case further claims Paul to be a bully despite himself being a self-admitted woman-beater. Case believes Brett Keane to be a saint however, because he believes a story he was told in which the manatee once put a blanket on a passed out drunk woman in Festus, Missouri (the same guy who gave DP's personal address to a psychopath and is a pathological liar). The video concluded with him declaring a holy crusade against the peasants.
I'd love a little girly boy like you sucking my dick.— TJ's impression of Chris talking to Cody Weber.
Not long after during episode 306, another FakeSagan video was played in which he claims he retiring from pwnage. He also talks about how he's been separated from Brett Keane's tit primarily over a difference in theology regarding their attack on the Drunken Peasants and stirring the drama pot, which Keane finds to be a perfectly Christian thing to do. He felt the need to spend a good chunk of the video talking about how he would be a total badass with guns in an apocalypse scenario as if he was a metrosexual John Rambo. While they watched the video, TJ gave a brief summary of Chris' homosexual crush on the now deceased twig-bitch Cody Weber, describing a story in which Anderson asked Cody to be in the porno with both him and his girlfriend, even offering Cody to let him suck his dick on camera. According to TJ, this led to Cody feeling very uncomfortable when given the option to meet Case in real life.
- FakeSagan: The DP never thought of this when they interviewed you and that could be because they don't believe that you're really a Christian or because they just weren't clever enough to think of it. But as for me? I can see the truth. I know that you're a believer and I did think of it. So Brett Keane -and this is very serious here- that the holy word of God is not a toy. I'm taking this completely seriously. Brett Keane, please place your left hand on the Bible and raise your right hand. Brett Keane, do you solemnly affirm that during the entire duration of this interview; to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?
- Brett Keane: I do.
- FakeSagan: Alright.— Being hustled by the manatee.
- FakeSagan: Do you, like I do, carry the sin of having ever raised your hand against a woman in you life? Have you ever done that?
- Brett Keane: I have never hit my wife in my life.
- FakeSagan: Then I envy you sir.— During his interview of Brett. Gullible as fuck.
Feminism is the worst thing that ever happened for women and the best thing that ever happened for men.— This isn't an ironic quote.
If someone is making a single penny off their videos, than their credibility might as well be destroyed.— Another real quote from him.
I suck on the vape!— A real line from Chris during his "pwnage".
- TJ once said that he liked the dude more when he was a maniac holding a gun to his head.
- He looks like a scraggily Abraham Lincoln at some angles.
- At some point, Chris believed Paul to be more talented than both himself and TJ.
- He believes all YouTubers to be on the autism spectrum.
- He believes that the History channel's Ancient Aliens is actually racist.
- He has a fucked up stutter in his speech these days, likely from too much meth.
- He once appeared on WE tv's Big Easy Brides to showcase his wedding dedicated to Satan
- He's an actual full-fledged misogynist (the type feminists strawman every critic of theirs as being) who says there's no such thing as a true female scientist, women have not earned the right to vote as (in the US anyway) they cannot be drafted into the military, and that female suffragettes should have been executed as terrorists, as women gaining the vote has caused the downfall of Western Civilization. He also claims transsexuals are insane.
- He has done an interview with Brett Keane where he accepted everything he said as fact because Keane swore on The Bible.
- He lived with TJ and Scotty for a while and claims to have once been on good terms with PaulsEgo.
- TJ has publicly dropped his name on a few occasions. 
- He claims that his face has been put on a Turkish newspaper for a story about Islamophobia in the west.
- He was rivals with CapnOAwesome, who eventually fucked his girlfriend.
- During his interview with Brett Keane, he suggested that Gary Immendham should get mouth-cancer, like any good Christian would say.
- He thinks Paul is a piece of shit for "Not Forgiving" his kidnappers when he was a teenager and thinks Paul goes out of his way to keep those guys in jail.
- Episode 17 (mentioned)
- Episode 69 (mentioned)
- Episode 165 (mentioned)
- Episode 166 (mentioned)
- Episode 234
- Episode 270 (mentioned)
- Episode 301
- Episode 305
- Episode 306
- Episode 307 (mentioned)
- Episode 310
- Episode 311 (post-show)
- Episode 314 (mentioned)
|The Brett Keane Saga|
|The Masters of Stupidity|
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